Tag Archives: HUMOR

Friday Fume

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fume 1It’s been another tough week for liberal idiots…

They’ve been proven wrong on Iraq…wrong on the criticism of Bush…wrong on their denial of Obama’s scandals and yesterday…

The Supreme Court voted NINE to NOTHING that Obama completely blew the Constitutional Separation of Powers clause. NINE TO NOTHING and now BOEHNER is SUING the Dictator for ABUSES of POWER!!!

While rational people, at the bottom of a deep hole would quit digging…LIBERALS ARE ASKING FOR MORE SHOVELS and who are we to deny their request?

Well, lookie here, it’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Back in 1960, the city of Detroit had THE highest per capita income in the NATION and then…liberals took it over.

Today…Detroit is a third world city and like third world COUNTRIES…their people have gone to the UNITED NATIONS of thugs, thieves and despots seeking powder blue helmet relief from their day to day struggles.

A gaggle of liberals from a COALITION of…wait for it…WELFARE RIGHTS GROUPS…are all upset because the water has been shut off to 4700 Detroit water customers because…THEY HAVE FAILED TO PAY THEIR WATER BILLS…and those who demand that others take care of them…VIA WELFARE…went to the U.N. to get their water turned back on.

Here’s the REAL story…about HALF of the 324,000 Detroit water customers are at least 2 months over due on their water bills and of THOSE…46,000 were sent shut off notices and of THOSE…only 10% were ACTUALLY shut off and here’s where it gets interesting…Of the 4500 that were shut off…HALF OF THEM CAME IN AND PAID IN FULL WITHIN 2 DAYS!!!

That means that a damn good number of those who simply felt they didn’t need to pay their water bill…COULD HAVE buy why spend your OWN money when you can live off of someone ELSE’S dime???

Naturally…

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Friday Fume

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fume 1Oh man, oh man…we’ve actually made it to the end of another week of liberal insanity and, before I get to the MEAT of the socialist crap burger…allow me to impart a small byproduct of it to you.

In Illinois…where people are mired in all manner of liberal devastation from debt and overspending to corruption and violence…the state House Committee has put forth the idea that ILLINOIS TAXPAYERS should CHOKE UP…$100 MILLION DOLLARS to build the…

Barack Hussein oh blow it out your ASS…PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY and mosque.

Well…That should make it the world’s most expensive OUTHOUSE BASEMENT ever constructed.

Patriot friends…It’s Friday and in case you haven’t guessed…

I’m fuming.

The National September 11th Memorial Museum is set to open to the public next month and wouldn’t ya just know it…there’s a gaggle on numb-nuts that are blathering about a film that’s to be shown there because…they’re afraid it might upset the Islamists and Jihadis.

And we all know what the Jihadis and Islamists do when they get their head diapers in a wad…

THEY COMMIT ACTS OF TERRORISM LIKE…FLYING PLANES INTO THE TWIN TOWERS AND KILLING ALMOST THREE THOUSAND PEOPLE!!!

The…DOCUMENTARY…

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Friday Fume

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How ‘bout that State of the Union speech, huh?

In Egypt, when a guy wins a “DEMOCRATIC” election and then, declares himself the DICTATOR…The OPPOSITION PARTY has him ARRESTED AND PUT ON TRIAL!!!

Over here…The opposition party offers a trio of rebuttals and then goes on a retreat.

In Orange County California…Police served a search warrant…5 MONTHS AFTER NEIGHBORS REPORTED A STENCH COMING FROM A HOUSE…SO BAD IT MADE THEM PUKE…And found a TEACHER living amongst approximately…450 SNAKES AND RATS…MANY OF WHICH WERE DEAD WITH THE LIVES ONES CANABALIZING THE DEAD ONES!!!

Sounds like the assembled audience at the  SOTU but only stinking half as bad.

AND…

It’s Super Bowl week and we now know why the Falcons went 4 and 12 last year.

They knew the big game was set for NEW JERSEY in FEBRUARY and…

THEY WERE AFRAID THERE MIGHT BE 2 INCHES OF SNOW!!!

Patriots and friends…It’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

And then…There were 3…Heading for the elected socialists retirement VILLAGES, where they can relax, play golf and REAP THE REWARDS OF BEING CAREER A-HOLES!!!

That’s right…

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Friday Fume

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Yet another week of obtuse liberal/socialist insanity is in the books and history will not treat it kindly.

I, on the other hand, will treat it with every last ounce of due respect it deserves.

The morons.

We’ll dispense with the quick hits this week and just…DIVE RIGHT IN to the SHALLOW END OF THE GENE POOL…THE LIBERAL END!!!

Today is Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Well…Did ya hear about Wendy Davis…Texas’ own Abortion Barbie?

It seems a while back she was telling her life story during a Texas fillybuster.

FILLYBUSTER…

Its TEXAS…What do want for nothing?

Anyway…

As it turns out…If she wrote down THAT version of the Wendy Davis story…YOU WOULD FIND IT IN THE FICTION SECTION!!!

Having been caught fabricating her past…The overjoyed-at-the-notion-of-on-demand-abortion Davis, tried to calm the waters that are pulling her political career down the toilet by EXPLAINING that she might have…STRETCHED the truth a little.

That’s like saying CHRIS CHRISTIE STRETCHED THE WAISTBAND OF…

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Friday Fume

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HOLY COW…

Can you even BELIEVE the week we’ve just been through?

It’s been like walking through a FREAK SHOW…

Just one damned thing after another but…The same could well be said of the waiting line to get into a Birkenstocks sale.

Here’s a couple of quick shots for ya…

In his book, “Duty,” Former Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said, of that sniveling weasel Harry Reid…

 “He also once contacted me to urge that Defense invest in research on irritable bowel syndrome.”

Far be it for me to advise the Secretary of Defense but…Were I Robert Gates…I would have sent Reid a wall mirror and a bill from the Pentagon for $6500 bucks!!!

Next…According to Mike Huckabee…“One term that I’d like to see outlawed from the vernacular of the party is ‘RINO. It stands for Republicans in Name Only, and it’s a pejorative term that questions the authenticity and orthodoxy of someone’s party purity. I’ve been called that myself, even though I fought in the trenches of Republican politics for over two decades. Even so, I would never pretend that I’m Lord over determining who the real Republicans are.”

Ya got that??? From here on out…We don’t call em RINO’s. We call em HUCKABEES!!!!!

And…Some rocket scientist …

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Friday Fume

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Oh boy…Where do I even begin with this week’s list of liberal lunacy???

Nancy Pelosi actually said of Obamacare…“All of the implementation has gone very well.”

I’M SURE SHE ALSO BELIEVES THE PRODUCTION OF “OUR AMERICAN COUSIN” AT FORD’S THEATER ON APRIL 14TH, 1865 WENT…SWIMMINGLY!!!

Then…the crusty old moonbat TWEETED…”FACT: Despite website glitches ­­≈ 1m have applied and are eligible to #getcovered on #ACA marketplaces. 500,000 have already secured coverage”

Ummm She issued that AFTER Sebelius ADMITTED that ONLY 106,000 had…”SELECTED” coverage but, SHE ALSO REFUSED to say how many had ACTUALLY PAID for it.

Obviously, Pelosi is using the same tabulation system liberals used to count the votes in 2012.

AND…

Over in Moscow…Pyotr Pavlensky decided to protest the Kremlin’s crackdown on human rights by…STRIPING NAKED…SITTING ON THE RED SQUARE BRICKS AND…NAILING HIS NARDS TO THE STREET!!!

Ummmm…

First…Just let me say…

YEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay…Now then…

It’s not at all unlike the way OBAMA protested CAPITALISM by STAPLING his to a 2700 PAGE SOCIALIST HEALTHCARE MANIFESTO!!!

At least the BOLSHOI stands to get a new SOPRANO out of the deal.

Anyway…It’s been quite the week but, here we are…On Friday and…

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Friday Fume

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When it comes to finding ways of exhibiting moronic behavior…Liberals and Socialists have been busier than a CLOWDER OF CATS TRYING TO BURY TURDS ON A CONCRETE FLOOR!!!

Let’s jump right in, shall we?

Isn’t this quaint?

The NSA which…ABSOLUTELY IS NOT SPYING ON AMERICANS…Is…Apparently…SPYING ON 35 DIFFERENT WORLD LEADERS including German Chancellor Angela Merkel…The PRIME MINISTER of BELGIUM and the PRIME MINISTER OF…THE NEATHERLANDS!!!

Hotbeds of enemy activity all.

NOBODY’S SCHNITZEL RECIPE IS SAFE!!!

Hmmmm…

“This is nothing at all to do with politics. We’ve made crystal clear that we want to find these people and bring them to justice. Whether we pay a couple million dollars isn’t the point — the point is we believe it’s a priority … and whether they are on a website or not doesn’t change that.” 

Those were the words of State Department blather piece Marie Harf when she was asked WHY there was NO REWARD being offered for information leading to the arrest of those responsible for…THE TERRORIST ATTACKS THAT KILLED 4 AMERICANS IN BENGHAZI!!!

Hell…I don’t need a reward…

THERE HE IS…SITTING THERE WITH HIS FEET ON THE DESK…IN THE OVAL OFFICE…

GET HIM…GET HIM!!!!!

You’re welcome.

And…

LO AND BEHOLD…SOMEBODY HAS ACTUALLY BEEN FIRED IN THE OBAMACARE WEBSITE FIASCO!!!

Yep…ERLING DAVIS!!!

Who????

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Friday Fume

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Well, rather than a 3rd episode of GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN FUMES…This week…We’re back to regular, garden variety liberal insanity.

Tuesday…In Pekin Illinois…26-year-old Adam Lester was arrested for doing…140 MPH…IN A 55MPH ZONE…ON A MOTORCYCLE…WITH A 16 YEAR OLD PASSENGER ON THE BACK!!!

I have no idea how they even CAUGHT the KAWASAKI COMET but…His explanation is what leads me to believe he is a liberal.

ADAM LESTER TOLD THE COPS HE WAS DRIVING SO FAST BECAUSE…HE HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!!

I’m willing to bet that wasn’t a problem for his passenger.

Meanwhile…

Over on MSNBCommies…Morning Joe spend the batter part of 2 weeks…Calling the TEA PARTY a bunch of…ARSONISTS…HOSTAGE TAKERS…RANSOM DEMANDING RADICALS WITH BOMBS STRAPPED TO THEIR CHESTS and then had…BILL AYERS…THE WEATHER UNDERGROUND DOMESTIC TERRORIST FROM THE 1970’s ON AS A GUEST TO…SELL HIS NEW BOOK!!!!!

Maybe next week they’ll take a full day to remember MOTHER THERESA as a COLD HEARTED SHREW and then have CASEY ANTHONY ON TO PLUG HER NEW LIFETIME MOVIE OF THE WEEK!!!!!

And…

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Friday Fume

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In Sweden a couple of days ago, TOUGH GUY Barack Hussein Obama was whining about the way he’s sometimes treated  in the United States and the names he sometimes gets called and then, he suggested he’d be more welcomed in Europe.

I have 2 words for him…

SEEK…ASYLUM!!!!!!!

Senator Bob Corker (RINO TN) asked the HEAD of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, GENERAL MAYHEM DEMPSEY what it was that this administration was “seeking” by attacking Syria.

The HIGHEST MAN on the PENTAGON TOTEM POLE answered…

“I can’t answer that, what we’re seeking.”

Naturally, after that…CORKER voted in FAVOR of the attack resolution.

I’m pretty sure I know what conservative voters are gonna be “SEEKING” the next time CORKER’S up for election.

And Obama has old Bill Clinton is out there trying to sell Obamacare because, try as he might…Obama CAN’T FIND A SINGLE ASPIRIN FACTORY TO BOMB IN SYRIA OR…AN INTERN TO HUM…”HAIL TO THE CHIEF” WHILE HE DOES IT!!!

Trust me, there IS humor to be found in this absurd Syria situation if ya dig for it and you know me…I walk LOUDLY and carry a BIG shovel!!!

My friends and Patriots…

Today is Friday and…

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