Tag Archives: HUMOR

The March in Paris Was Better Without Obama Anyway

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By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on cprworldwidemedia.com

jarr 1Well, well, well…

It seems the mosque on the hill has sent their Imam out to beat the media about the head and collective shoulders with a drop it and desist order.

Regime Imam Valerie Jarrett has been presented to the cameras to try and put an end to the “why didn’t you send someone to Paris for the Unity March last weekend” questions because the town liar, Josh (anything BUT) Earnest can’t weasel his Muslim boss out of this regardless of the lathe-like rate of spin he’s employed over the last few days.

According to the Imam:“I think as we saw, certainly we would have loved to participate in the parade, I remind you that Atty. Gen. Holder was in Paris for a very important meeting…I think we certainly got the substance right but it would have been great joy to participate in the parade, and we’re glad that Secretary Kerry is there now.”

So…turning your back on our oldest ally is…’getting the substance right?’

Only if you’re an Islamist.

Here’s the basis for the Imam’s appearance.

Last Sunday, in Paris, world leaders or their close counterparts met to stand against our regime’s ideology…Islam…in the wake of the terrorist attack and assassinations of members of the Charlie Hebdo staff and two police officers.

Glaringly absent from the courageous stand was one Barack HUSSEIN Obama.

Ever since…the lies from the white house have been coming at a fast and furious rate.

Speaking of Fast and Furious…

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Chelsea has Foaled

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oy 1I would like to add a dose of reality to all the BS surrounding the hatching of Chelsea Clinton’s spawn….the left elite’s anointed royalty perfectly timed, by coincidence of course, to attempt to diminish attention to such as Benghazi and Fast and Furious, both of which were acts of treason and both of which have grandma Clinton’s ample ass prints all over them.

While celebrities and communists (but for the most part, I repeat myself) gush platitudes via socialist media…

I have a bit of something I would like to offer to the diapered distraction.

Welcome to the world Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky…you poor, destitute dependent on this year’s tax form.

There are a few things you need to know.

The world is a freakin’ mess and unfortunately you are, by birthright, predisposed to make it worse as you grow older.

Oh…YOU won’t suffer the effects that OTHERS suffer…YOU’RE a CLINTON. You’ll be taught to identify with the common people, to pretend to “feel their pain” but you won’t. You’ll be taught to CLAIM you don’t HAVE money or that HAVING money doesn’t MEAN anything to you and liberals will lap it up like a puddle on the soup kitchen floor.

There are some things you need to know regarding your DNA…

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Friday Fume

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fume 1Ahhhh…Another Friday.

We’ve reached the end of the week and the beginning of a 3 day weekend. I know you’re probably heading somewhere, to forget reality for a few days and, YOU, my Patriot friends deserve it.

LIBERALS on the other hand, are on a lifetime break from reality so THEY probably won’t even notive the long weekend.

Let’s ge5t it all started with a rather SNARKY look at the week that was. My friends and soon to be traveling Patriots…It’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Okay…for all you liberals out there that think socialism is the GREATEST thing since the invention of BEAN SPROUTS AND BIRKENSTOCKS…allow me to explain to you the law of diminishing returns.

A few years ago…citing bogus claims of “GLOBAL WARMING…the Republik of Kalifornia decided to make gas companies put in a whole bunch of additives…to make gas burn cleaner…and before too long…they had THE most expensive gas in the nation.

Well…people didn’t like that and, giving how Kalifornians LOVE to drive their cars…they started buying cars that get better MILEAGE.

Better mileage…less gas. Less gas…falling revenues from GAS TAXES.

DOH!!! What’s a socialist state to DO when BIG government is put on a diet???

They started RAISING the gas tax to make up for the shortfall.

What did the PEOPLE do in response? THEY started buying gas/electric HYBRIDS so as to use LESS gas.

Less gas…less revenue…

AGAIN!!!

So now…with the nation’s HIGHEST price per gallon and the nation’s SECOND highest GAS TAX…The REPUBLIK of KALIFORNIA is AGAIN facing a revenue shortfall and what’s their solution???tax 1

JACK UP THE TAX ON A GALLON OF GO JUICE BY ANOTHER .15 CENTS PER GALLON as of January 1st!!!

Happy freakin’ new year.

It seems Kaiforrnia needs more money for GOVERNMENT PROGRAMS and the new tax will pour about $2 BILLION DOLLARS into the manure spreader but this new tax hike isn’t just going to hurt those who drive around for the fun of it.

Businesses that DELIVER the goods ALL KALIFORNIANS buy and going to have to raise THEIR prices to compensate and then what happens? THE STORES THAT SELL THAT STUFF TO CONSUMERS WILL RAISE THEIR PRICES TO COMPENSATE FOR THE EXTRA COST OF GETTING THAT STUFF TO THE STORES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

Ummmm…using the law of diminishing returns…that means people will drive less and buy less because of the higher cost of both and…cities AND the state will see MORE declining tax revenues because of it all.

Here’s just a wild idea for liberals…CUT THE SIZE OF GOVERNMENT AND QUITE SPENDING TAX DOLLARS ON GOVERNMENT ENTITIES THAT THINK THEY HAVE TO SPEND MORE MONEY TO COMBAT THE…WEATHER!!!

Fuming.

TAX 2And speaking of the law of diminishing returns…

THERE BE LIBERAL IDIOTS LIVIN’ IN FERGUSON MISSOURI!!!!!

Get this why don’t ya?

The very LOOTERS and DESTROYERS of businesses IN Ferguson are now all PISSED OFF because…so many businesses in Ferguson got…LOOTED AND DESTROYED!!!

Helloooooooooooooo?

They’re saying that “SOMEBODY need to come in an FIX dat crap…REBUILD dem businesses so people don’t has to go all a couple of miles to get to da WALMART or to get GAS or der’s gonna be HELL ta pay!!!”

Oh, don’t take MY word for it…See for YOURSELF!!!

Did that last guy REALLY say that if the owners of the stores that were looted and destroyed didn’t give…GIVE jobs to the very people who looted and destroyed them…THE LOOTING AND DESTRUCTION WOULD CONTINUE???TAX 3

What we’re dealing with here people, are the Valedictorians from the graduating class of the LIBERAL ASYLUM OF ABJECT STUPIDITY!!!

THIS…ladies and gentlemen…is why LIBERALS open WELFARE OFFICES instead of EMPLOYMENT AGENCIES…because their CLIENTS keep BURNING THE EMPLOYMENT AGENCIES TO THE DAMN GROUND and then demanding they still find them a job.

And you KNOW that twerp Governor in Missouri…Ray Nixon…is thinking…”SCREW GLOBAL WARMING…ya know…if we jack up the gas tax in this state…WE’D BE MAKING A MINT OFF THE MOLOTOV COCKTAILS!!!”

I’m fuming.

TAX 4And finally…

If the first two topics in today’s Friday Fume can be used as a guide…THIS segment should come as no surprise…

The DICTATOR,  fresh off his 2 week vacation to MARTHA’S GOLF COURSE…is getting ready for a trip to…ESTONIA AND WALES because, apparently they TOO have GOLF COURSES and they both play a HUGE roll in FOREIGN AFFAIRS but…he’s also warming up his PEN to CIRCUMVENT CONGRESS…AGAIN…AND FOLLOW THROUGH ON HIS UNCONSTITUTIONAL PROMISE TO…FIX IMMIGRATION!!!

Here’s the liberal insanity…

Because we have so MANY…ILLEGAL ALIENS HERE ALREADY…THE LIBERAL SOLUTION IS TO…BRING MORE OF THEM UP HERE!!!

It seems the ILLEGAL ALIENS squatting on U.S. SOIL just aren’t all ‘HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY’ with the freebies…cell phones…education…food stamps…housing…welfare and the like…so Obama is going to bring their…FAMILIES HERE TOO!!!

THEY’RE CALLING IT…FAMILY REUNIFICATION!!!!!TAX 5

We can’t have just PART of an ILLEGAL ALIEN family up here SUCKING THE SYSTEM DRY…WE GOTTA HAVE ALL THE BROTHERS, SISTERS, COUSINS, AUNTS AND UNCLES UP HERE TOO!!!

WE’RE TALKING ABOUT MILLIONS OF EXTRA Jose’s and Hose “B’s” RUNNING AMOK…AND THE REGIME HANDING OUT ALREADY FILLED IN DEMOCRAT VOTER REGISTRATION FORMS AND GREEN CARDS LIKE CANDY ON HALLOWEEN!!!

And there’s ol’ GOVERNOR MOONBEAM…OVER IN THE REPUBLIK OF KALIFORNIA…INTRODUCING MEXICAN PRESIDENT introducing Mexican President, ENRIQUE PINATA…TELLING THE ASSEMBLED CROWD…”IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO BE IN THE UNITED STATES…YOU’RE ALL WELCOME IN CALIFORNIA!!!”

Have you ever seen ILLEGAL ALIENS getting out of a car???

THERE’S LIKE 3 DOZEN OF THEM CLIMBIMG OUT MID-SIZE SEDAN!!!TAX 6

KALIFORNIA ISN’T GOING TO MAKE ANY MONEY OFF THEIR NEW GAS TAX IF MILLIONS OF ILLEGAL ALIENS ARE GOING TO BE CAR POOLING LIKE THAT!!!

And if all the FREE CRAP isn’t enough to lure ILLEGAL ALIENS to KALIFORNIA…THE SCENERY IS…AFTER LAST WEEK’S EARTHQUAKE…NAPA VALLEY LOOKS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE GUATAMALA…ON A GOOD DAY!!!

And here’s the best part…

WHILE OBAMA IS MAKING SURE ALL THE FAMILY REUNIONS TAKE PLACE ON OUR SIDE OF WHAT USED TO BE A BORDER…HE IS REFUSING TO CLOSE THE BORDER SO…MORE AND MORE HALF A FAMILY OF ILLEGAL ALIENS WILL JUST KEEP COMING…FOLLOWED BY THE MILLIONS MORE OF THE REST OF THEIR FAMILIES but that gets me to thinking…

WHAT ABOUT ALL THE DAMN TERRORISTS POURING ACROSS THE RIO GRANDE???TAX 7

HELL…MAHMOUD ONLY SNUCK IN WITH 3 WIVES…HE’S GOT 11 MORE GARBAGE BAGGED BRIDAL BEAUTIES IN BUTTKRACKISTAN…LET’S BRING THEM ON OVER TOO WHY DON’T WE??? I’M SURE THEY’RE ALL WELCOME IN KALIFORNIA…FOR THE LOVE OF ALLAH…THEY HAVEN’T BLOWN ANYTHING UP IN BURBANK YET!!!!!

Oh, I can just HEAR the excuse the liberals are gonna use…

“Well, we HAVE to bring em all here…to do the jobs American’s WON’T do.”

Like what exactly? SELLING BLACK VELVET PRAYER RUGS WITH AIR BRUSHED PAINTING OF THE BURQA MARY AND THE BABY ELVIS ON THEM or…SECURING OUR DAMN BORDER?????

My friends and fellow Patriots…Today IS Friday and…

I AM FUMING!!!!!

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Friday Fume

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fume 1It’s been quite the week in the land of liberal loons and at the end of every week, we try to tie it all up in one snarky package…WITH AN ATTITUDE!!!

Let’s not dally and dive right in.

Patriots and Friends…It’s FRIDAY and you KNOW what THAT means…

I’m fuming.

Remember when we told you, years ago, that Obama violated the law by placing the Fast and Furious documents he didn’t want Eric Holder to turn over to the House committee under lock and Executive Privilege key?

Sorry liberals…WE WERE RIGHT!!!

Yesterday, a FEDERAL JUDGE…one U.S. District Judge Amy Berman Jackson to be exact…set the fast and furiously approaching date of OCT 1ST as the date by which Eric WITHHOLDER must…drum roll please…TURN OVER ALL THOSE DOCUMENTS TO DARRELL ISSA AND THE HOUSE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE!!!

Does anyone but me smell an impending hard drive crash in the offing?

Now I KNOW that Holder just told the assembled mob in Ferguson that he TOO was a black man but…I do declare…he looks as white as sheet right now.

What’s the matter Holder? Did you just see the ghost of Brian Terry???

By October 1st, Holder has been ordered by the judge to turn over all unprivileged documents AND…all PRIVILEGED documents as well and Issa has until Oct 17th to register any objection regarding any documents that AREN’T turned over.

Why…That’s just a couple of weeks before the…

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Friday Fume

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fume 1

We have reached that point in the week where we meet LIBERAL, POLITICALLY CORRECT ABSURDITY with a snarky dose of CONSERVATIVE politically DIRECT absurdity.

Let’s not dally…what say we just jump right in?

It’s Friday my friends and you’ve guessed it…

I’m fuming.

Now then…in the world of LIBERAL IDIOTS…there are your garden variety liberal idiots…your elected liberal idiots and…but before we get to all of THAT…please allow me to take a moment and reflect on THE most important news of the ENTIRE week…

In memory of the ‘STILL DEAD…SO WHY IN THE HELL ARE WE CONTINUING TO GET  NEWS UPDATES’ Robin Williams…who didn’t “pass away” as is being widely reported as much as he HANGED HIMSELF WITH HIS OWN BELT…which, no doubt, will lead to liberals calling for all Americans to REGISTER THEIR BELTS…CAUSE OBAMA TO MANDATE 23 BELT CONTROL EXECUTIVE ORDERS WITH HIS PEN AND PROMPT DIANE FEINSTEIN TO CALL FOR MAKING SUSPENDERS ILLEGAL…

WE INTERRUPT THIS FUME WITH BREAKING NEWS REGARDING THE PROLONGED DEATH OF THE KINDEST, MOST GENTILE, GRACIOUS AND GENEROUS MAN WHO EVER LEFT HIMSELF DANGLING BY HIS OWN BELT…SO THAT HIS FAMILY OR CLOSEST FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES COULD FIND HIM AND BE TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE…

Because that’s what really sensitive people do I suppose…

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Friday Fume

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fume 1Day by day…minute by minute…Liberals IQ’s are PLUMMETING!!!

Every Friday, I let off a little steam and THIS Friday is no exception. I mean really…did you SEE this from a couple of days ago???

Obama, the dictator, stood at a press conference and actually had THIS to say about whipping out his anti-constitutional PEN and taking voter registration action regarding ILLEGAL ALIENS!!!

“The American people don’t want me just standing around twiddling my thumbs and waiting for Congress to get something done.”

He’s right you know…we DON’T want him standing around twiddling his thumbs…

WE’D RATHER HAVE HIM PACKING UP ALL HIS CRAP…LOADING IT INTO A TRUCK…AND MOVING THE HELL OUT OF OUR WHITE HOUSE!!!

Well…here’s your week in review…WITH A LITTLE ATTITUDE…

Friends and Patriots…

It’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Liberal congresswoman, Julia Brownley from the Socialist Repiblik of Kalifornia sent out a campaign flyer a week ago, trying to convince those in her 26th District that she’s all about the family and…THE MILITARY and along with photos of some kids and a family…most likely none of them her own…was one very particular image…

A woman, dressed in what, at first glance, looked like a NAVY uniform but…NOT to some VETERANS who received the flyer.

Veterans should be IMPORTANT to the politburo wannabe congresswoman as she IS on the House Committee for Veteran Affairs IS ranking member on the House’s Subcommittee on Health, which oversees the VA AND…HER DISTRICT INCLUDES…THE NAVAL BASE IN VENTURA but…

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Friday Fume

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fume 1It’s never a matter of what to write for the Fume…quite the opposite in fact.

The HARD part is narrowing it DOWN but if we can’t find a way to laugh at liberal insanity…we’ll all go screaming into the night.

It’s been a rough week folks so, let’s dive right in…

It’s FRIDAY and…

I’m fuming.

So, this is interesting…and telling.

Members of our military are reporting that they were told not to eat or drink…in front of Muslims…during the month of Ramadan.

SERIOUSLY???

Apparently, Ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong is the month of FASTING for TERRORIST BARBARIANS and according to Bridge Commander Col. Kevin Glasz, while THEY observe fasting…WE must observe…POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!!!

According to an email from Glasz to the troops…“This is a period of great personal restraint and commitment in addition to renewed focus on worship. I’d like to encourage you to learn just a little more about this religion, but more importantly, I’m asking you to be considerate and do not consume food or drink in front of our Muslim colleagues; it is a simple, yet respectful action.”

Let me try to put this in terms this BRASS ASS might understand…

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Friday Fume

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fume 1In a week that just defies common sense and DEFINES liberal nonsense…We find THIS little gem.

YOUR government is spending $10 MILLION DOLLARS of YOUR money to build…ROBOTS…that will…good God…”ACT AS PERSONAL TRAINERS…FOR CHILDREN…TO INFLUENCE THEIR BEHAVIOR …AND EATING HABITS!!!”

According to Yale University…an asylum of higher indoctrination… ‘Robots Helping Kids,’ will ultimately “deploy” robots into homes and schools to teach English as a second language, and encourage kids to exercise.

Says nerd Brian Scassellati of the asylum, “What we want to do is move these robots out of the laboratory and into schools and homes and clinics, places where we can directly help children on a day-to-day basis. Just like a good personal trainer, we want the robots to be able to guide the child toward a behavior that we desire.”

So…it takes a village to raise a child huh? Now it’s gonna take ROBOTS to raise a VILLAGE of IDIOTS but that’s exactly what liberals want, and as if dumbing down kids wasn’t bad enough…NOW they’re going to start turning out MIND-NUMBED CHILDREN by letting MIND-NUMBED ROBOTS TEACH THEM HOW TO BEHAVE!!!

Patriots and friends…It’s FRIDAY and…

I’m fuming.

When it comes to border security…do you think that maybe…JUST MAYBE…the Obama regime has their priorities a little SCREWED UP???

Just MAYBE???

While tens of THOUSANDS of ILLEGAL ALIEN minors…INCLUDING GANG MEMBERS…pour across our southern border and get everything from FREE TRANSPORTATION to states and cities from sea to shining sea to A FREE EDUCATION without so much as a second glance…

A troop of two dozen BOY SCOUTS from IOWA had a somewhat DIFFERENT experience last week as they traveled from Canada into ALASKA!!!

That’s when one of the Scouts took a photo of the border station upon which…

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Friday Fume

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fume 1It’s been another tough week for liberal idiots…

They’ve been proven wrong on Iraq…wrong on the criticism of Bush…wrong on their denial of Obama’s scandals and yesterday…

The Supreme Court voted NINE to NOTHING that Obama completely blew the Constitutional Separation of Powers clause. NINE TO NOTHING and now BOEHNER is SUING the Dictator for ABUSES of POWER!!!

While rational people, at the bottom of a deep hole would quit digging…LIBERALS ARE ASKING FOR MORE SHOVELS and who are we to deny their request?

Well, lookie here, it’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Back in 1960, the city of Detroit had THE highest per capita income in the NATION and then…liberals took it over.

Today…Detroit is a third world city and like third world COUNTRIES…their people have gone to the UNITED NATIONS of thugs, thieves and despots seeking powder blue helmet relief from their day to day struggles.

A gaggle of liberals from a COALITION of…wait for it…WELFARE RIGHTS GROUPS…are all upset because the water has been shut off to 4700 Detroit water customers because…THEY HAVE FAILED TO PAY THEIR WATER BILLS…and those who demand that others take care of them…VIA WELFARE…went to the U.N. to get their water turned back on.

Here’s the REAL story…about HALF of the 324,000 Detroit water customers are at least 2 months over due on their water bills and of THOSE…46,000 were sent shut off notices and of THOSE…only 10% were ACTUALLY shut off and here’s where it gets interesting…Of the 4500 that were shut off…HALF OF THEM CAME IN AND PAID IN FULL WITHIN 2 DAYS!!!

That means that a damn good number of those who simply felt they didn’t need to pay their water bill…COULD HAVE buy why spend your OWN money when you can live off of someone ELSE’S dime???

Naturally…

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Friday Fume

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fume 1Oh man, oh man…we’ve actually made it to the end of another week of liberal insanity and, before I get to the MEAT of the socialist crap burger…allow me to impart a small byproduct of it to you.

In Illinois…where people are mired in all manner of liberal devastation from debt and overspending to corruption and violence…the state House Committee has put forth the idea that ILLINOIS TAXPAYERS should CHOKE UP…$100 MILLION DOLLARS to build the…

Barack Hussein oh blow it out your ASS…PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY and mosque.

Well…That should make it the world’s most expensive OUTHOUSE BASEMENT ever constructed.

Patriot friends…It’s Friday and in case you haven’t guessed…

I’m fuming.

The National September 11th Memorial Museum is set to open to the public next month and wouldn’t ya just know it…there’s a gaggle on numb-nuts that are blathering about a film that’s to be shown there because…they’re afraid it might upset the Islamists and Jihadis.

And we all know what the Jihadis and Islamists do when they get their head diapers in a wad…

THEY COMMIT ACTS OF TERRORISM LIKE…FLYING PLANES INTO THE TWIN TOWERS AND KILLING ALMOST THREE THOUSAND PEOPLE!!!

The…DOCUMENTARY…

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