Tag Archives: sandra fluke

Friday Fume

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fume 1It’s never a matter of what to write for the Fume…quite the opposite in fact.

The HARD part is narrowing it DOWN but if we can’t find a way to laugh at liberal insanity…we’ll all go screaming into the night.

It’s been a rough week folks so, let’s dive right in…

It’s FRIDAY and…

I’m fuming.

So, this is interesting…and telling.

Members of our military are reporting that they were told not to eat or drink…in front of Muslims…during the month of Ramadan.

SERIOUSLY???

Apparently, Ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong is the month of FASTING for TERRORIST BARBARIANS and according to Bridge Commander Col. Kevin Glasz, while THEY observe fasting…WE must observe…POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!!!

According to an email from Glasz to the troops…“This is a period of great personal restraint and commitment in addition to renewed focus on worship. I’d like to encourage you to learn just a little more about this religion, but more importantly, I’m asking you to be considerate and do not consume food or drink in front of our Muslim colleagues; it is a simple, yet respectful action.”

Let me try to put this in terms this BRASS ASS might understand…

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Friday Fume

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How ‘bout that State of the Union speech, huh?

In Egypt, when a guy wins a “DEMOCRATIC” election and then, declares himself the DICTATOR…The OPPOSITION PARTY has him ARRESTED AND PUT ON TRIAL!!!

Over here…The opposition party offers a trio of rebuttals and then goes on a retreat.

In Orange County California…Police served a search warrant…5 MONTHS AFTER NEIGHBORS REPORTED A STENCH COMING FROM A HOUSE…SO BAD IT MADE THEM PUKE…And found a TEACHER living amongst approximately…450 SNAKES AND RATS…MANY OF WHICH WERE DEAD WITH THE LIVES ONES CANABALIZING THE DEAD ONES!!!

Sounds like the assembled audience at the  SOTU but only stinking half as bad.

AND…

It’s Super Bowl week and we now know why the Falcons went 4 and 12 last year.

They knew the big game was set for NEW JERSEY in FEBRUARY and…

THEY WERE AFRAID THERE MIGHT BE 2 INCHES OF SNOW!!!

Patriots and friends…It’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

And then…There were 3…Heading for the elected socialists retirement VILLAGES, where they can relax, play golf and REAP THE REWARDS OF BEING CAREER A-HOLES!!!

That’s right…

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Weekend Edition: It Takes A Village Idiot

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Before Hillary Clinton wrote a book about it, it was an old African proverb.

We, as conservatives, have railed against the notion but…Should we?

”It takes a village to raise a child.”

As I think back to MY younger days…To a large extent, there WAS a “village” involved.

My friend’s parents were part of that “village” and so was my church. There were the teachers in my schools, older kids who were either good or bad role models, extended family and neighbors.

Primarily, there were my parents but, to be fair, others; many others were involved in some way, shape or form. A “village” of sorts, I suppose and anything you did, right or wrong, good or bad, was seen by SOMEBODY who knew my parents and had no qualms whatsoever in reporting it TOO them.

Maybe it just took a village to keep an eye out.

There IS another old adage…

“Somewhere, a village is missing its idiot.”

The good news is…We have located the missing village idiots.

The bad news is…

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I’m Waiting…By My Phone…

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There’s something I feel I need to get off my chest.

I’m tired of living in the shadows and tired of being shunned by politically correct Members of society.

What I’m about to tell you may come as a shock to some but, nonetheless, it needs to be said. Needs to be told and, I believe, the time is ripe.

Please, sit down.

I’m straight.

(gasp)

That’s right.

Straight.

I think I’ve known it since I was in kindergarten or the first grade.

That’s when I used to walk Marty Epp home from school. We’d hold hands as we walked across the back playground and crossed the street to her house.

Sometimes, I’d kiss her.

Marty was my first girlfriend.

GIRL…friend.

I have felt, for some time, that I needed to make this statement in order to live a full and open life. I was tired of hiding it and, in today’s society, well…I just wanted to get it out there.

But wait, there’s more…

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Weekend Edition: Oh…You’re OFFENDED???

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If you’re intolerant of those who refuse to open their minds to the extent their brains fall out…If YOU are easily offended on behalf of others when you, yourself have nothing to be offended over…If you walk into a room and count the number of people who look like YOU vs those who DON’T and, if YOU think everybody should think the way YOU do because YOUR ideology is for “INTELLECTUALS…”

YOU are an INTOLERANT, INANE, OFFENSIVE, RACIST MORON.

I’ll also bet you’re a registered Democrat who ascribes to the idiot-ology of socialism.

If I’ve offended you already…GOOD…You deserve to be.

I’ve checked…

I’ve read it over and over again.

I have consulted specialists.

I have studied it 8 ways from Sunday and guess what?

There is NOTHING…

ANYWHERE in our Constitution that says that YOU nor I for that matter…

Have the right to NOT be offended.

Suck it up cupcake…YOU’RE NOT THAT SPECIAL!!!!!

If you see a cross, an image of Jesus, a nativity scene or a hear a prayer and you don’t subscribe to Christianity…

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Friday Fume

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Well…just a few more days and at least we won’t have to watch political ads for a couple more years.

Liberal/socialists can feel it all slipping away. Poll after poll has momentum leaning to the right and the liberal/socialists are lashing out.

They’re vandalizing cars with Romney stickers on them and throwing nails in the driveways of Romney rallies.

They even trotted out that old, tired horse, Gloria Allwashedup to spring an October surprise and the judge told her to go pound sand.

The attacks are getting WAY over the top because, the liberals can’t talk about foreign OR domestic policy NOW!!!

WELL, IF YOU’RE READY FOR THE FINAL PRE-ELECTION Fume…Let’s get to it.

It’s Friday Friends and Patriots and guess what?

Yep…

I’m fuming.

Okay…I’ve officially HAD it up to my GILLS with these dopey PETA whackos.

A couple of weeks ago…A truck hauling 1,600 of SEA bass flipped and all the fish flopped out.

Look…I love sea bass like Obama loves puppies…WITH A SIDE OF HASH BROWNS AND AN ICE COLD BEER…but really? The PETA poops want the city of Irvine California to put a MARKER on the road as a MEMORIAL???

Yep.

According to the head PETA fish hugger…Dina Kourda… The MEMORIAL MARKER would remind drivers of the fish and to… “Value their lives and feel pain.”

In a rare moment of clarity for any town in California…Irvine officials said…no way.

SOOOOO…I have an idea.

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Weekend Edition: DO NOT DRINK THE SHAMPOO

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I have been reminiscing lately, about my childhood, and I have come to the most startling conclusion. IT IS AN ABSOLUTE MIRICLE that I am alive today to reminisce about my childhood!

When I was a kid, the world around us was MUCH more dangerous than it is today.

A few days ago, while watching Elizabeth Warren at the convention, I decided the time was ripe to do something I had, for far too long, neglected.

I read the label on a bottle of recently purchased shampoo.

Along with all the directions, which can only be read with the use of an electron microscope, were the only words clearly visible from space…

“WARNING: FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY.”

Really?

My God given common sense has, so far, prevented me from drinking the shampoo.

As fascinating as I found Elizabeth Warren, I left the TV and headed for the bathroom where I started checking OTHER labels.

Did you know that your antiperspirant is ALSO for external use only?

Our hair dryer has a warning on IT too.

“WARNING: KEEP AWAY FROM WATER – DANGER – DO NOT USE IN BATH OR SHOWER”

Set aside, for a moment, the shocking possibility of being electrocuted and consider…on the moron scale…where one would have to be to believe that, while in the shower, with the water running, one could get their hair dry.

Let’s face facts.

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Conservative’s War on Women Explained

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Okay.

I’ve been putting a few things together. Connecting the dots, as it were.

You know how I enjoy connecting the dots.

Well, I’m going to do something here I have never done before. I am going to offer my assistance to the liberal/socialists.

Alright now, where to begin.

Okay. In a recent ABC News Poll…The numbers are somewhat startling for Obama. In April, Female voters preferred Obama 57-39%. However…the most RECENT poll shows a VERY different story.

Female voters NOW prefer Romney to Obama by 50% (Romney) to 46% for Obama.

My goodness. What happened???

For months now, angry liberal/socialists have been telling the nation that Republicans are waging a “war on women.” They’ve been painting conservatives as purely EVIL towards women. They say that Romney HATES women and Ryan HATES women.

They’ve said it and said it. From the campaign trail and every liberal/socialist spinning head pundit has said it and said it.

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Sandra Fluke…No Small Coincidence One Major Distraction

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These are the words of Margaret Sanger. Sanger, as we all know, founded Planned Parenthood and we also all know just how the liberals LOVE Planned Parenthood. Along with horrible a deep feeling of hatred toward races other than white, Sanger also held some interesting ideas concerning…birth control and why it is necessary.

On adultery:
A woman’s physical satisfaction was more important than any marriage vow, Sanger believed. Birth Control in America, p. 11

On the purpose of birth control:
The purpose in promoting birth control was “to create a race of thoroughbreds,” she wrote in the Birth Control Review, Nov. 1921 (p. 2)

On religious convictions regarding sex outside of marriage:
“This book aims to answer the needs expressed in thousands on thousands of letters to me in the solution of marriage problems… Knowledge of sex truths frankly and plainly presented cannot possibly injure healthy, normal, young minds. Concealment, suppression, futile attempts to veil the unveilable – these work injury, as they seldom succeed and only render those who indulge in them ridiculous. For myself, I have full confidence in the cleanliness, the open-mindedness, the promise of the younger generation.” Margaret Sanger, Happiness in Marriage (Bretano’s, New York, 1927)

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Liberals are Entitled to Have Their Lack of Morality Paid For

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Let the Republicans put forth a bill to make it illegal for taxpayer money to be used to pay for abortions or birth control and boy oh boy howdy…liberals come unglued, don’t they?

They stomp about, spitting mad, call their own Congressional hearings, dig into their pool of shills to produce people to speak their mantra and start making demands.

They are entitled.

They have a right.

It’s suddenly all about health.

Right along with their demands, they issue strong statements against the Republicans too.

Stay out of our bodies.

You have no right.

Eventually, liberals start marching up and down sidewalks and block traffic carrying signs with slogans like, “GOVERNMENT STAY OUT OF MY WOMB” and “MY BODY MY CHOICE.”

Liberals, and in this case, liberal women…LISTEN UP AND LISTEN CLOSE!!!

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