It’s NOT that there are so many thugs in Chicago that’s been causing the murder rates there to remain so high.

According to Chicago’s SS Chief, Supt. Garry McCarthy, It’s…

Wait for it…

GLOBAL WARMING!!!

Yep, that’s right…The SUMMER WEATHER…has a role in the murder rate in Chicago.

Or…Is it global HUMIDITY???

It’s a lot hotter…ALL YEAR LONG…In Phoenix but Phoenix doesn’t have the murder rate that Chicago has.

Phoenix, you see, has a “dry” heat.

Now…MIAMI on the other hand…Is MORE humid than CHICAGO and just as hot but…MIAMI doesn’t have as high a murder rate as Chicago EITHER.

Hmmmmm…..

Have ya ever been to New Orleans?

It’s hot and GOD AWFUL humid in New Orleans and the place is CRAWLING with liberal creole cretins but they don’t have the murder rate of Chicago either.

THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE SHOT AND KILLED IN CHICAGO OVER THE 4^TH OF JULY WEEKEND THAT WERE KILLED IN CAIRO!!!

It’s hot in Cairo.

In Egypt…

YOU CAN BOIL EGGS IN THE NILE!!!

But, according to Chicago police Supt. Garry McDCarthy…Summer weather made em do it.

It COULDN’T be the fact that Chicago has THE strictest gun laws in the country resulting in only CRIMINALS packing HEAT. It COULDN’T be that those CRIMINAL PUNKS don’t fear having a gun pulled on THEM by the people they’re ROBBING.

Naw…COULDN’T be that.

Apparently…what Chicago needs is FEWER “gun free zones” and MORE…SUMMER HEAT FREE ZONES!!!!!

CAN SOMEBODY GET CHICAGO A BAG OS FREAKIN’ ICE??? AN AIR CONDITIONER???

A FAN???

For GOD’S sake…

If you’re in CHICAGO and thinking of KILLING SOMEBODY…

GO TO THE NEAREST DAIRY QUEEN AND HAVE A DAMN BLIZZARD!!!!!

In Chicago, apparently…people will KILL for a DQ Blizzard.

Fuming.

It’s hot in Tulsa Oklahoma too but, they had a different problem with a liberal poop-head last week.

Police in Tulsa apprehended and arrested 52 year old KENNY ENSLO right after they pulled him out of a…

SEPTIC TANK!!!!!

Ol’ Kenny was down there when things started looking up…Ummmm….Well…KENNY started looking up.

Ya see…Kenny was down there…SPYING ON WOMEN WHO CAME INTO THE FACILITIES AT THE SAND SPRINGS WATER PARK!!!

The little stinker.

One woman had taken her 7 YEAR OLD to do what she ought NOT do in the pool and when she opened the seat…

GUESS WHO WAS LOOKING UP AT HER???

YEP…KENNY ENSLOW!!!!!

The Keystone Fire Department came along and hoisted Kenny out of the bathroom basement, hosed him off, I suspect from a distance, and the cops hauled him off.

Now…You KNOW a liberal ALWAYS has a COVER story and Kenny is no exception.

Kenny told the cops that…A WOMEN…HIT HIM OVER THE HEAD…WITH A TIRE IRON AND…DUMPED HIM INTO THE TOILET!!!

Kenny…Like all liberals…Was full of…

And you think I’M fuming?

Meanwhile…

Matthew Zeno, a 30 year old KNOT-HEAD…Was walking with a friend along the tracks for the southbound G train around 3:10 a.m., at Union Avenue and Broadway near Brooklyn.

That’s when it happened.

ZERO Zeno was drunk and…Well…Nature called.

Being a New Yorker…and obviously a liberal/socialist…Zeno whipped out his Anthony Weiner and began the process of emptying the recycled vodka and Kool Aid shooters from his…bladder.

Onto the THIRD rail of the subway tracks.

It would be the last thing Zeno ever did as Zeno quickly learned that…ELECTRIC CURRENT CAN AND WILL…TRAVEL…UPSTREAM!!!

Oh…His friend was there and that friend TRIED to help but…HE WAS NEARLY AS…SHOCKED…AS ZENO!!!

Every once in a while, ya gotta thin the herd but…A SELF IMPOSED, FATAL BLAST OF ELECTRICITY…RIGHT THROUGH  HIS LIL SIZZLER well…

If there were MORE liberal/socialists like ZENO there would be a lot LESS liberal/socialists like Zeno.

Look…I KNOW that there are MILLIONS of liberals who don’t live anywhere NEAR a subway track but…

ISN’T THAT WHY GOD INVENTED…TOASTERS??????

Have ya ever put a  hotdog into the microwave? Ya know that whistling sound that sort of fades away after a few seconds when you take it out?

One wonders…

Anyway…

Note to the Occupy Movement…PLEASE…PLEASE HAVE YOUR NEXT ALINSKY PISS FEST IN THE SUBWAY…PLEASE!!!!!!!

I’m fuming.

And then…

There’s 23-year-old Thomas Williams.

Tommy threw a rock through the window of Moeller High School in Cincinnati last Sunday night and proceeded to vandalize the building.

 He was spraying fire extinguishers around the building.

Apparently, somebody called the cops and they came out and arrested Tommy Williams.

All 6 foot 5 inches and 295 pounds of Tommy Williams.

He was wearing SPIDERMMAN UNDERWEAR.

Ummm…NOTHING BUT…SPIDERMAN UNDERWEAR!!!!

Peter Parker he is not.

PETER…PORKER…Mabye.

Where’s a 3^rd rail when ya really need one?

Police reports gave no explanation for Williams’ attire.

WELL, HELL…I’M SHOCKED THAT HE DIDN’T CLAIM A WOMAN HIT HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH A TIRE IRON AND DUMPED INTO A SPIDEY BANANA HAMMOCK!!!!!!!

Now…I know what you’re thinking.

EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Okay…fair enough but, I know what ELSE you’re thinking.

What, exactly, do these 3 stories have to do with the wide, wide world of politics given today’s scandal and abuse plagued administration?

ALL OF THESE YUTZES…VOTE!!!!!

THE REASON WE HAVE A COMMUNITY ORGANIZER IN THE WHITE HOUSE IS BECAUSE…PEOPLE WHO THINK GLOBAL WARMING IS CAUSING MURDERS IN CHICAGO…PEOPLE WHO SPEND THEIR DAYS AT THE BOTTOM OF A SEPTIC TANK LOOKING UP AT WOMEN’S KEESTERS…PEOPLE WHO PEE ON THE SUBWAY TRACKS AND GROWN PEOPLE WHO PRANCE ABOUT…FIRING OFF EXTINGUISHERS IN A SCHOOL…WEARING NOTHING BUT SPIDERMAN UNDERWEAR…VOTED FOR HIM!!!!!!!

THE DUMBING DOWN OF AMERICA HAS THE SHORT BUS RIDERS ELECTING MORONS TO RUN THE ASYLUM!!!!!

Oh…I KNOW there aren’t enough of these DINGBATS to out VOTE us but…

THAT’S WHY SO MANY OF THEM VOTE 3 ,4 OR 5 TIMES APIECE!!!!!

THEY’RE ELECTING SOCIALIST NUMBNUTS THAT ARE JUST MARGINALLY AWARE ENOUGH NOT TO TAKE A LEAK ON THE 3^RD RAIL BUT NOT AT ALL SMART ENOUGH TO REALIZE THAT…

ISLANDS DON’T CAPSIZE WHETHER OR NOT ALL THE PEOPLE RUN TO ONE SIDE OF THEM!!!!!

Conservatives know enough NOT to give THOUSANDS of weapons to MEXICAN DRUG CARTELS!!!

We know it’s a BAD idea to HIRE AL QAEDA TO GUARD OUR DIPLOMATS IN BENGHAZI!!!!!

Conservatives are FAR too smart to POUR TAXPAYER DOLLARS INTO SOLYNDRA OR ANY NUMBER OF OTHER GREEN ENERGY FIASCOS!!!!!

We don’t  do IRS LINE DANCING VIDEOS…MAKE GILLIGAN’S ISLAND VIDEOS, STAR TREK VIDEOS OR HIRE SMOKING CLOWNS TO ENTERTAIN US WHILE WE’RE SOAKING IN A HOT TUB AT THE AMERICAN TAXPAYER’S EXPENSE!!!!

WE…AS CONSERVATIVES…DIDN’T PASS A 2300 PAGE BILL AND TELL PEOPLE IT HAD TO BE PASSED BEFORE WE COULD FIND OUT WHAT’S IN IT!!!!!

Yes…We voted for Rubio WHO NOW WANTS TO EXTEND AMNESTY BEFORE THE BORDER IS LOCKED DOWN but…WE’RE GONNA VOTE HIM OUT BECAUSE OF IT TOO!!!

THE UNDEROO WEARING, TOILET DWELLING, WIENER ZAPPING SOCIALIST NIMRODS VOTED FOR THE GUY WITH THE FORGED BIRTH CERTIFICATE WHOSE ADMINISTRATION PROMOTED THE WOMBAT WHO ABUSED THE POWER OF THE IRS AND…DEMOTED THE GUY WHO TOLD THE TRUTH ABOUT BENGHAZI!!!!

Ya just gotta wonder, how proud the DC INTELLECTUAL socialist bozos can possible be KNOWING that they got elected by THE KIND OF PEOPLE THAT PISS ON ELECTRIC RAILS, THINK GLOBAL WARMING IS CAUSING MURDERS IN CHICAGO…PEEP AT WOMEN’S BUTTS FROM THE LOWEST LEVEL OF A PUBLIC TOILET AND…BREAK INTO ASYLUMS OF INDOCTRINATION WITH NOTHING ON BUT THEIR SPIDERMAN UNDERWEAR?????

THROW ANOTHER SHRIMP ON THE TREADMILL!!!

It IS Friday my friends and…

I AM FUMING!!!!!!!