Tag Archives: HUMOR

Last Week’s News in Its Proper Perspective

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Last week was a very interesting week, and one that I believe needs to be put in its proper, snarky perspective.

Ready or not…here we go…

Okay…Syria is all bent out of shape because, last week, President Trump officially recognized Israel’s sovereignty in the Golan Heights. Syria has, since 1967 accused Israel of occupying what belongs to Syria.

Ummmm…excuse me Syria…but perhaps you should have thought about the consequences of trying to invade Israel before you invaded Israel in 1967…and perhaps you should have considered the ramifications of getting your asses kicked in what has to have been one of the absolute shortest wars in the history of wars.

Sure…you figured…hey, new country, how ready could Israel possibly be to wage a war…right? Well, it took Israel just 6 days to whoop ya, and after doing so, Israel had every right to the Golan Heights…so get over it, and get over yourselves.

Syria…

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The Mueller Report – No Diamond in That Goat’s Ass for Liberals

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

If liberals can’t see it now, then they have the collective eyesight of Stevie Wonder, Helen Keller, Louis Braille and Mr. Magoo.

The mainstream media has been screwing with them.

Liberals are nothing more to the mainstream media than a dead mouse is to a cat…something with which to play, and liberals have been played for fools by the MSM with regard to “Russian Collusion” for the past two years.

From the day President Trump was nominated to this very minute, the mainstream media has told their legion of liberal cat toys that Trump colluded with the Russians to beat Hillary. They have told their dead mice that Trump was guilty of colluding with the Russians, and that he was guilty of obstructing justice over it.

For better than two years…

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A Change in the Weather, Not the Climate

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

I’d like to take a bit of your time to talk to you today about the weather.

Sorry…I mean global warming.

Sorry…I meant to say…climate change.

Here in Nebraska, where I live, and you may not know where exactly that is so let me explain it this way…you know how, when you’re watching some weather lady give the national forecast on TV…well…we’re located directly behind where she stands while lying the rest of you about what it’s going to be like where you live.

Anyway, here in Nebraska last week…we had quite the weather…global warming/climate change event. We’re used to the climate changing here about every five minutes but last week was a doozy. Last Tuesday, it was beautiful, 50 degrees and sunny. Then last Wednesday, it started raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock from 2 in the freakin’ morning until it turned to snow at around 4 in the afternoon. The wind came up to about 60 mph and it snowed and blowed (a Nebraska saying) or snew and blew for the rest of you until about 2 in the afternoon on Thursday.

Well…

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Liberal BS and the Farting Cows of Doom

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

The liberal agenda is all BS. 100 percent, absolute, undeniable bullcrap…and I believe that I can prove it.

Honestly, I don’t give a happy damn what plank from their agenda you care to bring up…I can show you how liberals have taken both sides of the issue when it suits them…and many times, they take both sides at the same time.

Sure it’s tricky. You have to be accomplished, pathological liars to do it. You have to be the absolute definition of hypocritical to pull it off, and you must, and I mean MUST have no shame…but we’re talking about liberals here so…

It goes without saying that liberals hate President Trump, and they hate Conservatives who support President Trump. Liberals also hate opinions that not fall into line with their own opinions.

Liberals hate religion, law enforcement, guns…people who own guns and large sodas.

The list of things liberals hate is far too long to compile here, but suffice it to say…liberals are indeed a hateful bunch and yet, they portray themselves as…

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Damn the Roses…This is the Socialist Derby

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

AND…they’re off…in more ways than one.

The liberal’s horse race for the White House is under way. Let’s call it the Socialist Derby and issue an immediate apology to the great state of Kentucky for purloining their moniker.

The problem is, all the liberal horses are running backwards. Have you ever seen a horse running backwards? It’s awkward, to say the least, and amusing at best. What it amounts to is watching one horse’s ass trying to get out front of the rest of the horses asses to see which horse’s ass can get to the glue factory last.

It’s not much fun for the horses…it’s gonna be sad for liberals who have their bets placed…but it’s gonna be a hoot for we spectators on the right side of the bleachers.

To fully understand the nature of this race, we’ll have to size up just a few of the horses asses in the running. Trust me…there are simply too many horses asses in this race to deal with all of them…which would require writing a book rather than an article, and I just don’t have time to write a book so let’s start with…

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A Very Bad Week For Liberals

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Last week was a bad week for the stupid liberals…a very bad week…which has resulted in a perverse sense of glee on my part.

I just can’t help it.

As the liberals grow evermore desperate, they have started doing some of the most obtuse things that even a six year old could see as doomed to failure…but as we are all too well aware…your average liberal’s intelligence doesn’t rise to the level of your average six year old.

The real question is…from where do I even begin?

Okay…how about with what’s going on in the state of denial…Virginia?

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Toxic Masculinity My Hairy, Australopitheman Ass

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Toxic masculinity…it’s all the rage right now amongst liberals who are always looking for something at which to direct their collective rage. You know who I’m talking about…the tolerant left who are always seeking out new targets for their collective intolerance.

Liberals…the perpetually, terminally offended. Those to whom great offense is always taken due to the actions of those who are rarely offended by anything at all. You know…liberals…the victims of everything, responsible for nothing, owed by everyone and in desperate need of warping the world around them, and those who inhabit it to their own bent, distorted and intellectually dishonest mindset.

One day, it is the weather that has their panties in a wad…the next, it might be someone thinking that under the Constitution, we have a right to keep and bear arms.

Right now, for the moment, the flame throwing weapon aimed at the delicate little snowflakes is…

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A Rapper’s Hell Hole Delight

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

I don’t know about the rest of you…but when I feel the need to gain a clear, concise understanding of things…and when I say “things” I mean…you know…stuff…I shut down the radio, turn off the TV, and step away from any and all of my run of the mill sources and go directly, with great alacrity to…

Instagram.

Once on instragram…I begin looking for the correspondents who always seem to have THE best grip on all the things…and by “things” I mean stuff…that affects us all…

Celebrities.

And among the legions of celebrities who populate Instagram, there exists a sub-category where wisdom is found which rivals that purported to reside in Hindu sages who sit atop the mountains of Tibet…

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The Wall: Dollars and Common Sense

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

According to David Cicilline, a liberal congressman from Rhode Island, President Trump’s proposed border wall, “is a colossal waste for money.”

That said…it’s been the better part of 35 years since I took junior high algebra, and to be honest, it was not my best subject. I didn’t see the need for it. In fact, my algebra teacher once asked me, in front of the entire class, why I had such a hard time grasping algebra.

My response was simple…

I told her that I used NUMBERS for MATH…and LETTERS for SPELLING. While that snarky line drew scorn from my algebra teacher, it elicited everything from snickers to full-on laughs from my classmates but that’s not the point…

The point is…one doesn’t have to jump through mathematical hoops, flaming or otherwise, to get to the heart of the abject stupidity of Cicilline’s statement. In fact, all one has to do is apply…not common core…but common sense to it.

Okay…let’s get after this…

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Crap We Learned in 2018

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Okay…its 2019…a new year full of new possibilities and new opportunities, and it’s time to look back at some of the crap we learned in 2018.

While liberals continue to pee themselves over Hillary’s loss in 2016, and spew their socialist collective hatred at President Trump, and at Conservatives…desperately trying to take both down…we Conservatives continue to wallow about in all the winning our country is experiencing.

The real difference between liberals and Conservatives as we begin a new year, is nothing new…as Conservatives, we love our country…liberals don’t…and while we actually learn from things related to last year…liberals just never seem to get a grip on reality.

So…here we go…crap we learned last year…

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