Tag Archives: HUMOR

Friday Fume

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What a week it’s been.

I don’t know about you but, my nerves are closer to the breaking point than the elastic waistband on Chris Christie’s tighty whities!!!!

Now THERE’S a mental image.

In New York the other day, Obama told the assembled sheep that, “At some point, the government is gonna run out of money.”

Check your Rolex…IT’S ALREADY HALF PAST 17 TRILLION O’CLOCK!!!!!!

Rose Marks, a FLORIDA fortune teller who claims that PSYCHIC POWERS have run in her family for 1500 years…IS ON TRIAL FOR A $25 MILLION DOLLAR FRAUD scam.

She never saw it coming.

AND…One of the leaders of the New BlacKKK Panthers…One, Hashim Nzinga (buy a vowel) has had his…CONVICTED FELON IN POSSESSION OF A GUN charges dropped in Georgia.

Good thing for him he isn’t a WHITE/HISPANIC without a felony record OR WE WOULD NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT!!!!!

Yep…It’s the end of the week…FRIDAY my Patriot friends and…

I’m fuming.

Okay…HERE’S a moron of the liberal persuasion for ya.

36-year-old David Wayne Jordan…Well known to local law enforcement in Whatcom County Washington for having previously been a guest at the grey bar related to assault and resisting arrest…

Has been ARRESTED AGAIN for…

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Friday Fume

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Is there no END to liberal stupidity?

NO THERE IS NOT!!!!

This week, like the previous weeks and just as it will be in future weeks, liberals and socialists just keep raising the bar on their insipid activities.

This week, Bradley Manning got busted down to private before he was sentenced to 35 years in a military lock up and now, he wants his clusters removed.

That’s right…Bradley now wants to be CHELSEA and begin hormone treatments…PRESUMABLY at TAX PAYER EXPENSE because, I suppose, having a little cloud of glitter behind you every time you fart just isn’t a good thing when you’re cellmate’s name is HANK.

The government has awarded a $78 THOUSAND DOLLAR grant to a bunch of HALF BAKED researchers to find out if GLOBAL WARMING caused the downfall of the MAYAN civilization.

Exhibit A) MAYAN…SUV’s.

And…The without A=CLU(E)…Which uttered not a single word of displeasure when a U.S. District Court Judge threw out OKLAHOMA’S BAN ON SHARIA LAW…Now is DEMANDING a STATUE of the 10 COMMANDMENTS be REMOVED from the lawn of the OKLAHOMA CAPITOL!!!

Tell me again how socialists don’t want all notions of our JUDEO/CHRISTIAN values BANISHED to be replaced by the IDEOLOGY of ISLAM!!!!!

It’s Friday my fellow Patriots and…

I’m fuming.

Well…Proving that governments of OTHER nations can be as dumb as a door knob…JAPAN has decided that the leak of RADIOACTIVE WATER from the FUKISHIMA nuclear plant is NOT an ANOMALY after all.

Ummmmm…..

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Friday Fume

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It’s NOT that there are so many thugs in Chicago that’s been causing the murder rates there to remain so high.

According to Chicago’s SS Chief, Supt. Garry McCarthy, It’s…

Wait for it…

GLOBAL WARMING!!!

Yep, that’s right…The SUMMER WEATHER…has a role in the murder rate in Chicago.

Or…Is it global HUMIDITY???

It’s a lot hotter…ALL YEAR LONG…In Phoenix but Phoenix doesn’t have the murder rate that Chicago has.

Phoenix, you see, has a “dry” heat.

Now…MIAMI on the other hand…Is MORE humid than CHICAGO and just as hot but…MIAMI doesn’t have as high a murder rate as Chicago EITHER.

Hmmmmm…..

Have ya ever been to New Orleans?

It’s hot and GOD AWFUL humid in New Orleans and the place is CRAWLING with liberal creole cretins but they don’t have the murder rate of Chicago either.

THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE SHOT AND KILLED IN CHICAGO OVER THE 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND THAT WERE KILLED IN CAIRO!!!

It’s hot in Cairo.

In Egypt…

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Friday Fume – The 100th Anniversary Edition

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Today is a National Patriot milestone of sorts.

Friends and Patriots…THIS is our 100th Friday FUME!!!!

While I would love to take time to celebrate this monumentally minute feat, there’s just too much to be done and if we don’t find a way to laugh just a little…We’ll all go NUTS!!

Lois Lerner, on administrative leave is STILL logging into her EMAILS at the IRS…I’ll bet she can’t erase the evidence faster than the NSA can grab it.

The NSA has been collecting data on EVERYBODY and all they really needed to do to find out what CONSERVATIVES are thinking…IS ASK US…WE’LL BE HAPPY TO TELL EM TO GO TO HELL!!!

Morally bankrupt Bill Maher insulted and mocked TRIG PALIN!!! Just goes to prove that special needs kids are at least 100 flights above the ilk of socialists. Hey Maher…You wanna pick on the mentally retarded…PICK ON YOUR OWN SOCIALIST FRIENDS…Trig is WAY too smart to join the OCCUPY movement…HANG OUT with DICTATORS or BOO GOD AT A NATIONALLY TELEVISED CONVENTION!!! Compared to YOU…HE’S A MENSA CANDIDATE!!!!!

Good grief…That’s just a SMATTERING of the socialist bedpan remnants we have for ya this week. Put down your beverage of choice…no need in shooting it though your nose and into your keyboards…HERE WE GO>>>

It’s FRIDAY and…

I’m fuming.

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Friday Fume

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After this last week, I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. It’s been a WHIRLWIND of socialist depravity.

There’s been so much happening all at once that I scarcely know where to begin. Put on your helmets my Patriot friends…This one is a CLASSIC!!!

It’s FRIDAY and…

I’m fuming.

We’ve got shrimps on treadmills and we’re building robotic squirrels.

We spent $9.3 million on robotic bees. ROBOTIC BEES…BECAUSE THE REAL THING AIN’T BAD ENOUGH!!!

What’s next? HOLOGRAPHIC ANTS???????

When the IRS wasn’t TARGETING CONSERVATIVES…They spent $60k OF YOUR MONEY  on a Star Trek themed training video.

Who do they think they ARE??? THE GSA?????

And HERE’S well spent taxpayer dollars… $1.18 million on…PUPPET CHOREOGRAPHY…Which I assume was dance lessons for Obama.

BUT…

SEQUESTER IS MAKING ALL OUR LIVES MISERABLE!!!!

Well…Not ALL our lives….

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Friday Fume

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Okay…It’s been a tough week. With the events in Boston, West, Texas…Storms, flooding…all sorts of things…We’ve all been a little on edge.

Our thoughts, prayers and hearts go out to all who have been affected by the week’s horrible events. Really.

But rest assured that while all that was going on, we, at The National Patriot, were watching the off-the-front-page socialist insanity too.

Patriots…Today is a day to do what we must in order not to go out of our minds. Today, we must LAUGH!!!

Friends…It’s FRIDAY and…

I’m Fuming!!

Let me get this straight…

Connecticut passes a 138 page, 4000+ bullet point “GUN CONTROL” bill and now…THE 2ND AMENDMENT NEVER EXTENDED TO PRIVATE CITIZENS TO BEGIN WITH???

Remember those ZOMBIE attacks DHS has been preparing for? I’m guessing that’s in case things get out of hand in CONNECTICUT!!!

According to a WORKSHEET passed out in a Connecticut Middle School…

“The courts have consistently determined that the Second Amendment does not ensure each individual the right to bear arms. This means that the rights of this amendment are not extended to the individual citizens of the states. So a person has no right to complain about a Second Amendment violation by state laws.”

WHAT???????

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Friday Fume

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Week in and week out, socialists just keep adding clowns to the parade.

Hanoi Jane tells veterans and military supporters to “GET A LIFE…”

The Dictator stands in front of a CHINESE MADE CRANE to trumpet about OUR infrastructure…

This absurd administration will be giving Egypt’s MUSLIM BOTHERHOOD (that’s NOT a typo) 8 MORE F-16’s and NOW we learn that NORTH DIARRHEA actually DOES have nukes small enough to FIT ON THEIR MISGUIDED MISSILES!!!!!

But my friends, we press on. We FIND ways to deal with this insanity and LAUGHTER really DOES seem the best medicine.

To that end, we have reached FRIDAY and believe it or not…

I’m fuming.

Never has one claiming to be the president known so little about so much.

He never knew ANYTHING about the REV. WRONG being a RACIST BIG MOUTH.

He didn’t really know BILL AYERS did he?

He didn’t know ANYTHING about FAST AND FURIOUS…Until he exerted EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE OVER IT…

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Friday Fume

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Let there be no doubt that the asylum is being run by the inmates.

While we HAVE made it to the end of another week, we are by NO MEANS nearing the end of socialist idiotic buffoonery.

Now, we COULD just hunker down in a corner and cry into a blanket but, as always, I take a different approach. I say we find a way, every week, to LAUGH at the insane behavior of those out to destroy us through their moronic behavior.

Yes, today IS Friday and I hope that YOU will take a few minutes to join me in keeping sanity alive.

I’m Fuming!!

Oh yeah…THIS is gonna work.

In an effort to get tough with North Diarrhea, John, “I Hate America” Kerry is trying to pressure CHINA into doing something about it.

Can’t ya just hear him begging?

“Come ON!!! I took YOUR side of things in Nam now…SUCK IT UP AND GET ME OFF THE HOOK HERE!! We’ll borrow more money from ya! We’ll forget about the hacking stuff. PLEEEEEEEEASE???”

The problem over there is Dennis Rodman’s best friend. That waste of a sperm cell is THREATENING EVERYBODY INCLUDING THE U.S. AND SOUTH KOREA!!!

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Friday Fume

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Well, socialists are clearly stepping up their moronic antics aren’t they?

This week has been no exception to the rule.

The Dictator and his family are taking more than a vacation a month while the rest of the nation struggles to make ends meet. Obama is now trying to shame those who have no shame into shooting holes in the 2nd Amendment…

Jim Carrey made a video mocking Charlton Heston because picking on CLINT EASTWOOD WOULD HAVE RESULTED IN AN ASS KICKING…

And we’re finding out that the “AFFORDABLE” Care Act could well RAISE insurance premiums by…200%!!!!!

Well, it’s Friday my fellow Patriots and it’s time for a laugh because…

I’m fuming.

Oh for crying out loud.

Can government do ANYTHING without going broke???

Nope.

Now we learn that they have grossly mismanaged, of all things…

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Friday Fume

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I can’t believe we made it all the way through another week.

If socialists launched an insanity rocket from atop their own mountain of stupidity…It still wouldn’t reach the heights of moronic behavior they’re reaching.

I can’t even BEGIN to get into ALL of it from this week so…I’ve hand-picked 4 issues from the always exploding stack.

My friends and fellow Patriots…

Sometimes…Ya just gotta laugh. Today IS Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Let’s start things off in Ipswitch.

That’s where the high school principal has decided to DO AWAY WITH HONORS NIGHT BECAUSE…

THE KIDS WHO RIDE THE SHORT BUS MIGHT HAVE THEIR FEELINGS HURT!!!

Are you KIDDING me???

The kids who have worked their adolescent BUTTS off…TAKING CALCULUS…ANATOMY…PHYSICS AND COLLEGE LEVEL MANDARIN CHINESE LANGUAGE COURSES  SO THEY CAN GROW UP TO GET GOVERNMENT JOBS…BEGGING FOR MONEY…AREN’T GOING TO BE RECOGNIZED FOR MAKING THE HONOR ROLL BECAUSE…

REMEDIAL READER, MOUTH BREATHING, SHOP CLASS SAND BAGGING, 5TH YEAR SOPHOMORES MIGHT GET THEIR “EVERYBODY GETS A TROPHY JUST FOR SHOWING UP” PANTIES IN A BUNCH????

Yep, that’s about the size of it.

What’s next?

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