FOR SALE!!!

One well used and often abused professional basketball team.

Right now, it’s in working condition but, to be fair, it hasn’t been worth squat for a long, LONG time.

New owner must enjoy sitting court side, must know how to lose gracefully as it seems to happen quite often and be comfortable around tall, sweaty men, cannot be edgy hearing the sound of bouncing balls and not be nervous around large crowds of disappointed people.

New owner need not be local as the team IS located in Los Angeles which we understand, could be a drawback to those who value liberty and low taxes.

Broker is insistent that the new owner must NOT be offended should his…or HER…high dollar bimbo or gigolo (as the case might be) be seen in public in the company of “black people.”

Random tape recordings may be made at inopportune moments during private bimbo or boy-toy conversations.

The previous owner is being forced to sell due to moral bankruptcy.

Best offer made over the next couple of months will be accepted.

FOR RENT!!!!!

One overpriced, high mileage, rode hard and put up wet…sleazy, gold digging hybrid bimbo…prone to extortion, devoid of morals…completely…searching for a new sugar daddy to pay for oil changes and maintenance for her 2012 Ferrari, two Bentleys and a 2013 Range Rover.

WARNING!!! She appears to be somewhat vindictive, when cut off from your supply of money however…likes MUCH older, married billionaires who have lost their freakin’ minds and are easily manipulated and…She is NOT a package deal with ownership of the team and buyer need not acquire the bimbo.