Category Archives: Snarky

The TRUTH About Socks, Underwear and Socialism

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By Craig Andresen Right Side Patriots http://www.americanpbn.com/

I would like to take a little time to address liberals. Specifically those liberals who are drooling over Bernie Sanders.ber 1

You know who you are.

You are the ones who pee yourselves every time Grumpy mentions free crap. He’s going to give you this for free, that for free, other things for free, EVERYTHING for free. Free healthcare. Free college tuition.

Free childcare…which goes along nicely with his proposals to expand the welfare system by which women can have as many babies as they want, by as many different men as they can roll around with and then have all their child care paid for…for FREE and if those welfare moms want to send their little welfare rug rats off to pre-school…

WELL THAT’S GONNA BE FREE TOO!!!

Yep…a vote for Bernie is a vote for FREE crap for the rest of your life and, if you’re a good little socialist…you’ll get a free pony.

Ol’ Bernie sure is the generous sort, isn’t he?

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Recapping the Hawkeye Cauci

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By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on americanpbn.com

ic 1Okay, the Iowa Caucuses, or Cauci (the plural form) are over and what did we learn from the fracas?

Well…

We learned that a full 43% of Iowans identify themselves as socialists and of that 43%, they had to toss coins in order to determine which of their socialist candidates would be awarded which socialist delegates. Hillary (soon to be indicted) Clinton squeaked out an extra delegate over Bernie (I intend to hike your taxes beyond bejesus) Sanders.

And how did those coin tosses go? Well…Hillary won 6 in a row. The last time a Clinton got that lucky calling heads or tails…it was Bill…with Monika.

The ‘get off my lawn” voters can relax though as Sanders will win the communist vote by a wide margin next week in New Hamster…er…New Hampshire.

That is what we learned on the government needs to take care of us from cradle to grave side of the aisle, but what was it we learned on the RIGHT side of the American aisle?

Plenty…

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Meanwhile, In the Not So Grand Scheme of Things…

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By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on americanpbn.com

moron 1With the release of Bow Bergdahl, a deserter who is now facing court martial and for whom, 6 American soldiers were killed…Barack Hussein Obama set the standard for Islamists. Take Americans, hold them hostage and Obama will give you damn near anything you want for them. He’ll pay the ransom.

Last week, 10 American sailors were taken by Iran and in what I am sure was just a convenient coincidence, Obama released 10 GITMO scum the day after Iran sent our sailors back to our Navy and…so far…Iran still has our boats which, I am quite sure, go nicely with the drone Obama gave them a few years ago.

Now we have the great prisoner swap where we got 4 Americans back from Iran and THEY got 7 Iranian nuclear “researchers” back from US along with 14 more who had charges against THEM dropped.

The message from Obama is clear…if you’re a jihadi, some 7th century barbarian and you come across an American…grab them, demand a ransom and then just sit back and wait to get paid. Nothing to it.

This insanity must stop and I believe the perfect jumping off point is at hand.

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Cruz, Rubio, Vattel and the Ineligibility Lies

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By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on americanpbn.com

Obviously, it is once again time to address a certain issue that has, thanks to Trumpers, elig 1been brought to the forefront because they are scared that their one and only candidate…who is by all indications, running for the position of dictator…is on the verge of being overtaken in some key states.

Ted Cruz IS a natural born citizen and so too, is Marco Rubio.

Oh, I know that’s not the scuttlebutt coming from butt-scuttlers but it is true nonetheless.

Now, if you want me to climb aboard the crazy train of so-called ‘birthers,’ there are only a few things you need to do. Just show me a law, or a definition from our Constitution that makes either Cruz or Rubio Constitutionally ineligible and not only will I ride the crazy train, I’ll sell tickets to it.

Trumps Trump-drunk trolls are all over the place spewing their, and his brand of nonsense regarding this issue and not a single one of them has ever produced a shred of real evidence against the eligibility of Cruz or Rubio.

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Weather Weasels of the Apocalypse REJOICE!!!

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By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on americanpbn.com

Now that Obama has ISIS contained…Paris, San Bernardino, most of the Middle East, a good portion of North Africa and areas of Europe along with various other places within the geographical boundaries of earth notwithstanding…the collective heads of state have turned their collective heads to more pressing matters.

WEATHER WEASELS OF THE APOCALYPSE…REJOICE…AS THEY HAVE SAVED OUR ORB FROM ITSELF!!!

That’s correct…a CLIMATE CHANGE deal has been reached and thus, for the first time since the creation of the 3rd rock from the sun, our climate will not change!!!

There was a standing ovation as the 195 countries involved in utter nonsense announced that a deal had been reached by which the world’s temperature would not rise by more than 2 degrees Celsius and fossil fuels would become obsolete.

See below for details…

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Trump – All Sound Bite and No Substance

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By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on americanpbn.com

oht 1There can be no two people happier about Donald Trump’s empty rhetoric this week than Obama and Hillary Clinton and while Trump continues to grin like the cat that swallowed the media canary, people who should care about real issues are being bamboozled.

For once, Obama doesn’t even have to concoct a distraction…Trump is handling that for him.

Was Trump right to state that we should put a temporary ban on Muslim immigration and employ profiling to minimize future jihadis entering our nation?

Yes, but he missed the key reason why…that being that we are engaged in a war against an ideology and not a religion as Islam is the former and not the latter but Trump has not explained himself and why should he? His Trumpers are eating it up and the media is talking about nothing else.

There’s a reason for that and I suspect Trump has been paying a staff to do nothing but look at social media to discern what Conservatives are calling for. Notice how Trump has yet to put forth an original idea. He takes whatever is the hot-button topic of the week and puffs himself up over it spewing rhetoric with no substance behind it.

Build a wall…make Mexico pay for it.

How?

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Obama’s Oral Orifice Manure Spreading

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By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on americanpbn.com

oral 1On Sunday night, Barack Hussein Obama stood in the Oval Office spreading manure from his oral orifice regarding how great his strategy of combating Islamic terrorism has been working and how, if we just stay the course, doing what he says, doing more of the same…everything will be okay.

That strategy, by the way, has been in place from the moment a 7th century Islamic barbarian shot up a U.S. military recruiting station in Littlerock Arkansas in June of 2009. That strategy has been in place through the Navy Shipyard Islamic terrorist attack, the one in Chattanooga, the one at the Boston Marathon, it was in place when an Islamic barbarian attacked four NYC police officers with a hatchet, and in place when another Islamic barbarian, Ismaaiyl Brinsley, assassinated two NYC police offices as they sat in their squad car.

It’s the exact same strategy that was in place when two Islamic barbarians tried to attack an art exhibit in Garland Texas…and it was exactly the same strategy, the strategy Obama says is the only way to keep us safe that was in place last week when yet two more Islamic terrorists…barbarians…shot and killed 14 while leaving 21 wounded in San Bernardino California and to be clear, those two had designs on killing many, many more.

Oh, Obama did have a new wrinkle to toss into his manure spreader…

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O Christmas Cups, O Christmas Cups…

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By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots

cup 1The whole world, it seems, is going to hell in a handbag.

Look around…Syria, Russia, Ukraine…Iran is getting nukes for the love of God. Iraq is a disaster, Afghanistan is too and nearly every Butt-Crackistan in the region is either fighting some absurd 7th century civil war or all their jihadis are invading Europe.

China is building islands…THEY’RE BUILDING ISLANDS…in the South China Sea and threatening us and Japan over them and that little sawed-off twerp over in North Diarrhea keeps promising to attack South Korea and US with HIS nukes.

The Palestinians, who are really Jordanians, are attacking Israelis because Israelis keep building homes…IN ISRAEL.

And now…Paris and Mali with ISIS making global threats…

Here at home…the economy still stinks…job participation is at an all-time low…welfare participation is at an all-time HIGH…Obamacare is predictably failing at warp speed, violent crime is UP…WAY UP in our most LIBERAL cities and taxes are going up higher than pants at a “Black Lives Matter” protest are getting lower.

If there’s really a correlation there…perhaps we should lower taxes to get those idiots on the street to pull up their damn pants and while I’m on that topic…note to all common street thugs…wearing the waste of your pants below your ass is not a fashion statement…it’s an I.Q statement that screams you’re so damn stupid you don’t know how to get dressed when you get out of bed at the crack of noon.

The whole world is going to hell and what did the Evangelical holier-than-thou Christians have their saintly skivvies all wadded up over last week?

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Global Warming vs The Great Pumpkin

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‘By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on cprworldwidemedia.net

You Have GOT to be kiddpum 1ing me.

According to the ENERGY.GOV website…”At landfills, MSW (municipal solid waste) decomposes and eventually turns into methane—a harmful greenhouse gas that plays a part in climate change, with more than 20 times the warming effect of carbon dioxide (CO2).”

What the Obama regime’s Department of Energy is talking about here are two things…pumpkins and farts. The MSW to which they refer are this year’s left over Jack-o-lanterns which, when thrown away, decompose and turn into methane…more commonly known as…FARTS and PUMPKIN FARTS, according to Obama’s Department of Crap That Doesn’t Matter…lead to GLOBAL WARMING!!!

Some Jack-o-Jerk in that department wrote the following: “With the passing of Halloween, millions of pounds of pumpkins have turned from seasonal decorations to trash destined for landfills, adding to more than 254 million tons of municipal solid waste produced in the United States every year. This Halloween, think of turning this seasonal waste into energy as a very important ‘trick’ that can have a positive environmental and energy impact.”

Seriously…they ARE kidding…right?

No, no they are not.

Back to their inane, obtuse cyber-blather…

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Iran Says NO DEAL to Obama Real “Deal”

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By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on cprworldwidemedia.net

Okay…let me just see if I have this right.derp 2

Obama lied.

I don’t know about you but that’s just…shocking.

Obama lied regarding Iran and the “deal” that allows the nation of barbarians to stockpile a nuclear arsenal…THEY never SIGNED it. Oh, I know they said they would never sign the “deal,” hell, I even WROTE that they would never sign the “deal” but of course, that was a MONTH ago and what did I know?

NOTHING…according to assorted liberal knotheads…I didn’t know what I was talking about. I was WRONG they all told me but…I was only quoting the Ayatollah Ass-a-Hola when HE said Iran wouldn’t sign onto the deal.

What Iran did, according to the scant media coverage afforded it, was sign a deal they drew up THEMSELVES…THAT’S the “deal” they signed but the “deal” Obama had Kerry capitulate on? THAT “deal” was roundly REJECTED by Iran.

Oh…yeah, we still have to abide by the Obama terms of surrender…that we don’t get out of but…IRAN…they DON’T have to abide by it and guess what? THEY AREN’T!!!

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