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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Gary North once said, “Socialism is simply Communism for people without the testosterone to man the barricades.”

Gary North is an American paleolibertarian writer, Austrian School economic historian, and leading figure in the Christian reconstructionist movement, and he has either authored or coauthored more than fifty books on topics including Reformed Protestant theology, economics, and history. He is also an Associated Scholar of the Ludwig von Mises Institute.

Yeah…I had to look it up too and I discovered that the Ludwig von Mises Institute is named after Austrian School economist Ludwig von Mises because it promotes teaching and research in the Austrian School of economics and Misesian views on social and political philosophy.

The Ludwig von Mises Institute that is by coincidence named after some Austrian economy nerd Ludwig von Mises, and teaches Austrian economics is located in…nope…Auburn, Alabama because nothing conveys the true intellectual fineness of Austrian economics quite like a slow, southern drawl.

Even though Gary North is right, never mind him and instead, remember what Ronald Reagan once said…

“A socialist is someone who has read Lenin and Marx. And an anti-socialist is someone who understands Lenin and Marx.”

I am here to tell you good folks that today’s socialist wing has most certainly READ Marx and Lenin…but they damn sure think they’re GROUCHO Marx and JOHN Lennon. Their utter lack of understanding the principles of socialism is putting our nation in a very dangerous position.

My friends and fellow patriots, we, as a nation, are on the brink of a total collapse. We are at the abyss, teetering and staggering about like drunken inhabitants of Nairobi.

I can guarantee you that drunk monkeys have more political acumen than do today’s socialist wing of the party of liberals, but that doesn’t mean that the danger posed by them isn’t real. It is, and it is dire. In fact, I suspect that unless we patriots take drastic steps to not only defeat the drunken monkeys of socialism in 2020, but to destroy their movement once and for all…we are facing the end of our nation as we know it.

But…

I have a plan.

I know what we need to do to completely wipe out the whole liberal movement…and my plan, as extreme as it is, as potentially dangerous as it might be, and as destructive as it might be to our national institutions and infrastructure as it will surely be…regardless of the price in life and limb…we must see it though.

I have discovered several lines of offense we must undertake and it starts with making a ruckus. Now I’m not talking about riots here. That’s a bit much. I’m talking about something more along the lines of a parade…maybe a brass band, with a couple of tubas, a bunch of trombones, a few scattered drums and by all means…brightly colored uniforms.

A collection of John Phillip Sousa scores should do the trick.

I know your probably think I’ve lost my mind, but I can assure you that such a display of sliding trombones, the umpah’s of tubas, and the clatter of drums will drive millennial socialists into a near coma. We could actually render them catatonic by including banners or flags waving in front of the marching band.

You see, as it turns out, millennial socialists seem to be very prone to sensory overload…it renders them unable to focus and they will retreat to their assortment of quiet spaces.

Our next move should be to infiltrate those quiet spaces while sporting a variety of “aggressive scents,” and I have done some research into such scents. The two primary scents that I have deemed the most “aggressive” are Hai Karate, and English Leather…both aftershaves, and both available at estate sales in Sun City Arizona. Other “aggressive scents” would include…Brut, Preferred Stock (socialists will find anything to do with the stock market to be unbearingly aggressive) bacon, cheap cigars, and of course…Ben Gay.

Millennial socialists won’t be able to take it, and once we waft up their quiet spaces, they’ll have no place to hide.

Gendered language…use it as often as possible in our war against socialism. Socialists, especially the millennials and even some from the Bernie Sanders age group…you know…old and slobbering socialists…hate gendered language. Say things like “he” and “She” and “ladies and gentlemen,” and of course, “guys.” They will fixate on such language, and will thus be incapacitated.

Heckle the socialists. Hiss at them whenever possible. It triggers them and makes them nearly apoplectic. When faced with a battalion of socialist marshals hell bent on the fundamental transformation of America…start clapping. Clapping frightens socialists. I’m guessing a standing ovation would reduce them to quivering gelatinous blobs, and just to be sure, toss in a few cheers, a whistle or two, and maybe a handful of “whoop whoops” just to be on the safe side.

I know it sounds like I’m making this all up, or that I’ve taken leave of my marbles, but I’m telling you as surely as horses make little green road apples, this stuff will defeat our enemy.

Socialists, as it turns out, have lots of “disabled comrades,” with “invisible disabilities” that make it nearly impossible for them to navigate any room or space that wasn’t purposefully designed with each, and every “invisible disability” in mind so…if you foresee any sort of confrontation with socialists in an indoor setting, arrange the furniture randomly, and hang a few pictures upside down. This will confuse the hell out of your socialist advisories and make it nearly impossible for them to mount any kind of defense when you begin to clap wildly.

By all means, and at any opportunity, just start talking to the socialists…keep asking them questions, tell them you are from the media, and if possible…if at all possible, have a police officer with you and have that officer start asking them things. Now to be sure, this does not tend to make then surrender, but it sure seems to shut them the hell up, and that’s half the battle right there.

If you think I’m kidding, or out of my mind just watch these clips from a recent democrat/socialist conference and you will come to see that my battle plan is a recipe for victory.

Those are the delicate daisies of today’s socialism movement in America, and they intend to start a socialist/communist revolution.

That’s right, the delicate daisies that are prone to sensory overload if there’s chatting, can’t handle “aggressive scents”, and who have to have designated quiet spaces at their own damned convention and are scared crapless by applause…intend to start a socialist/communist revolution. Look, I don’t know what sort of revolution these nincompoops have modeled their revolution on, but every revolution I have ever heard of is loud, never relies on the wiggling of happy fingers, and they all…and by all I mean that they ALL smell aggressive.

In that video we see the delicate daisies who are taking over the democrat party, which should tell you just how much of a backbone the average democrat has these days. They are being overrun by sniffling, snot-dripping, anxiety prone, genderless, safe space seeking whiners who put their hands in the air in a surrender pose and wiggle their fingers when they find their happy place.

Are you KIDDING me? THOSE are the liberal’s revolutionaries? Those sniveling weasels of socialism couldn’t mount a successful revolt against a day old jelly donut.

However…

These safe space seeking misguided millennial miscreants of Marxism are not those who intend to actually fight in their revolution. For that, they have ANTIFA. Let’s just face a few more facts here…ANTIFA is an organization that has for years tried to shut down free speech, rioted at rallies held by Conservatives who are dedicated to liberty, blocked traffic while wearing masks to call people who disagree with their opinions “racists,” and while protesting capitalism and God knows what else in Portland a few weeks ago, were selling ice cream at a stand to make money.

Earlier this year, ANTIFA announced that they would shut down the Sturgis motorcycle rally. That rally just concluded its 79^th annual event last weekend, and there wasn’t one ANTIFA member anywhere in sight. A couple of years ago, ANTIFA vowed to launch their “revolution” on November 4^th, 2017. They even picked out a place for it all to begin. The brain trust over at ANTIFA chose Fayetteville, North Carolina as the starting point for their revolution. I didn’t hear one thing about it…did you? Probably not, and I believe I know why we never heard of the start of their revolution…because it was supposed to be in Fayetteville…North Carolina…where Fort Bragg is located…the home of the 82^nd Airborne.

So, how do the ANTIFA goons hold up when push comes to shove? Well, how about this member of ANTIFA’s revolutionary guard?

That dude’s now half nuts.

And how about this ANTIFA revolutionary in Portland?

Bandana to cover face? Check. Goggles to limit vision? Check. Fake fur lined parka hood up to cut off peripheral vision? Check. Hoping there’s a designated quiet room at the hospital so as not to be further triggered to the point where you run across a highway at the first sign of a verbal challenge to your badass persona?

Check.

Honestly, ANTIFA is THE most FASCIST bunch of anti-fascists anyone’s ever seen, and let’s just be clear here…those who are proud of what they stand for, and what they say don’t wear masks so as to not be recognized. Today’s ANTIFA ain’t nothing more than ISIS wannabes, and yesterday’s klan…cowards all.

But before we completely dismiss ANTIFA as total snowflakes, because they think they will be the force behind the socialist revolution if and when it actually takes to the streets, let’s just check in and see how ANTIFA combat training is progressing…and bear in mind that this is NOT a parody…THIS is the REAL deal…

Look, when your self-defense instructor is wearing a flowered gardening hat he borrowed from his grandmother, and he couldn’t punch his way out of a wet paper sack…there’s a pretty good chance that in a fight…you’re gonna get your pasty-white ANTIFA ass kicked so hard that you’ll actually remember which bathroom you’re supposed to use.

By now it should be pretty obvious that socialism isn’t going to win in a convention hall, or in the streets as the sound of clapping or a fly swatter is all that’s needed to send millennial socialists fleeing for a safe space or home to mommy for a comforting juice box. It’s at the ballot box where we must win this battle in 2020 and beyond.

Show up, stand united, and vote to Keep America Great lest we turn our nation over to the sniveling snowflakes of socialism and God Bless America…where everyone has the right to be an idiot on YouTube.

© Craig Andresen/thenationalpatriot.com 2019

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For more political commentary please visit my RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS partner Diane Sori’s blog The Patriot Factor to read her latest article, Violence v. Truth…and the Matter of Free Speech

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