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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

I would like to enter my name, officially, on a dubious list of America’s most wanted, as an offender of the highest order. I will gladly surrender myself, and I am more than prepared to take full responsibility for my actions.

Please make sure, when issuing my arrest warrant, to spell my name correctly.

It’s Craig…not Greg…and the last name is Andresen…not Anderson.

Last week, Florida nincompoop Frederica Wilson, a liberal loon of a congresswoman, said those who are “making fun” of members of Congress online should be “prosecuted.”

For the record, and let there be no doubt regarding this very important and relevant point…

I am a habitual offender.

For years now, online, on both social media, and in my blog, The National Patriot, I have written articles, and created content, including but not limited to memes, in which I routinely make fun of a wide number of assorted idiots, fools, clowns and ass-hats on the left side of the political aisle, many of whom are members of congress.

For the record, Fred Wilson’s official ass-hat size is about 5 gallons containing a 5 ounce brain.

We must quit making fun of the baboons, apparently it’s illegal, and one of the baboons is irritated.

Helping me to prove my point, Fred stated last week, “Those people who are online making fun of members of Congress are a disgrace, and there is no need for anyone to think that is unacceptable.”

A 6 ounce brain would have said, “there is no need for anyone to think that is acceptable,” but Fred just had to add the “un” to it to make herself come across as more intellectual to her 4 ounce brained voters who are impressed by an added syllable. If there was no reason to find making fun of congress members Unacceptable, her complaint would be completely invalid.

Fred went on to state, “We’re gonna shut them down and work with whoever it is to shut them down, and they should be prosecuted.  You cannot intimidate members of Congress, frighten members of Congress. It is against the law, and it’s a shame in this United States of America.”

Now, I don’t mean to nitpick the short bus riding liberal lid wearing member of congress, who apparently gets her assortment of cowboy hats from the Brokeback Mountain apparel outlet store, but she should have said that she’ll work with whoever it TAKES, rather than “whoever it is…” and the word “this” in the context of what she’s trying, but failing to say, indicates a singular, but as we have 50 states in THESE United States, her nonsense would have been much more valid, and would have possibly led people to believe she had a 6 ounce brain under that 5 gallons of glitter had she said “in THESE United States of America.”

According to Fred Wilson, making fun of members of congress should be a crime, and people like me that make fun of members of congress online should be hauled into a courtroom, and tried before a jury of our peers…which one can assume would consist of  12 people who also make fun of members of congress online.

Excuse me if I don’t anticipate any convictions.

Fred also blames President Trump for people losing respect for Congress. This is a very interesting allegation, but not a surprising one considering that liberals in congress have been blaming President Trump for everything and anything for better than two years now. If one is to believe that the things I, and others make fun of regarding liberals in congress are actually President Trump’s fault, one would have to believe that President Trump somehow forced people in New York to elect AOC.

The list regarding Alexandria Common Core-Tez is far too long to rehash, or rehashtag here.

I would, however, be quite interested in how President Trump is at fault for making Congressman Hank Johnson seriously question whether Guam, as an island, might capsize were everyone on it to suddenly run to one side of it. In the long history of islands, and capsizing, I can never recall the former doing the latter…ever. I admit, I have had my fun with that over the years.

In fact, when I think back on my online history, both on social media and my blog, I have made fun of so many members of congress that I honestly have no way of putting a number on it, but I am certain, in a court proceeding, it might well take days just to read the charges, the last of which would undoubtedly be contempt, as I am positive I would not be able to restrain myself during the recital from making any number of smart-ass comments.

I swear to GOD within 30 seconds of the beginning of the reading of the charges against me, I’d have some Obama appointed judge banging the gavel into the bench with the velocity of a jackhammer.

Notably, among the reams of material Fred wants to ream me out for, would be Anthony Wiener, the Peter Tweeter whose actions, much less his name led to scores of fun-making posts.

Of course, AOC, Hillary, Face Tape Pelosi, Chuckles Schumer, and Jabba the Nadler leap to mind as recent examples of my obvious guilt, but the list goes back far, and extends quite wide in my storied career of walking loudly and poking with a sharp stick.

Fred Wilson is acting like making fun of members of congress is something new, something unheard of before President Trump beat Hillary the Deleter in 2016. I can assure you that it is not. In fact, since people with a sense of humor, and congress were invented, the latter has been having fun at the expense of the former much to the delight of audiences whether online, in print, from the stage, or via mediums like movies and television.

Mark Twain said, “Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.”

John Adams once said, “In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.”

Milton Berle put it this way, “You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.”

“Congress consists of one third, more or less, scoundrels; two thirds, more or less, idiots; and three thirds, more or less, poltroons,” is a famous H.L. Menken line from back in the day.

Victor Hugo once wrote, “I don’t mind what Congress does, as long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses.”

Will Rogers was always quick of wit, and just as quick to take pot-shots at congress. Will said, “With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke,” and “Congress is so strange; a man gets up to speak and says nothing, nobody listens, and then everybody disagrees,” and congress honored Will Rogers with a stamp.

Okay, along with wanting to arrest and prosecute people for making fun of congress members, Fred Wilson also claims that, “You cannot intimidate members of Congress, or frighten members of Congress.”

First things first…I can find no law pertaining to intimidating a member of congress, outside of course, threatening a member of congress with some sort of bodily harm, which is illegal pretty much without regard to whom such a thing is done. I did find, however, that as per 18 U.S. Code § 594. Intimidation of voters, that it is illegal to intimidate voters, and since ol’ Fred Wilson is threatening to prosecute people for being funny, and because funny people vote…well…that’s voter intimidation, and perhaps ol’ glittter hats herself should be prosecuted…which would force me to post something funny about her.

Fred also says it’s illegal to “frighten members of congress.”

Well…BOO!!! How’s that grab ya Fred?

I’m guessing that on the left side of the aisle, given that AOC is terrified of an under the sink kitchen appliance, the bar for frightening a member of congress is pretty low. Let’s face it…liberals in congress are quivering in fear over everything from farting cows, to the weather, and even their own shadows. They vibrate in fear over the mere thought of freedom, the Constitution, and children actually being born. Fear doesn’t even begin to define the way liberal members of congress react to such things as telling the truth, morals, a nativity scene or a booming, growing and vibrant economy.

If you really want to have some fun, and I mean laugh out loud fun rather than the LOL sort of fun people have on social media…you could both intimidate AND scare silly any liberal member of congress into a politically induced coma by whispering two simple words into one of their ears…“William Barr.” Hell, they’ve been half way to catatonic since November of 2016 as it is.

Poke-a-Honky Warren says she’s an Indian, and I’m not supposed to make fun of that lest I get prosecuted? Cory Booker says he’s Sparticus, and I’m not supposed to make fun of him online? Various members of congress claimed that if we build a wall at our southern border, we would run out of butterflies and avocados…oh come ON…I can’t leave stuff like that just lying there unattended regardless of how many years I get in the hooskow, and Pelosi says, ”But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.”  I’m supposed to just walk away?

I’m just sayin’…if members of congress want me to quit making fun of them, they need to meet me half way…and just shut the hell up.

Of course it’s not just liberal members of congress that become the targets of prosecutable humor…free-range liberals that are nuttier than a squirrel turd also deserve the treatment. Here…watch this and try to convince me to not to have at it…

First off, how on earth an I supposed to take that woman on the right side of the frame with any degree of seriousness, considering she’s sitting there throughout the entire interview wearing a pair of silly nose-glasses…and air conditioning…is SEXIST because women in an office get cold when it’s cranked on? Women in the office place can always put on a sweater if they’re chilly…but let a man take his pants off because the women in the office run the heat up to 95 in August…and somebody’s gonna get arrested.

Frederica Wilson may as well file charges against me right now, because I’ll never stop trying to make people laugh by simply reporting on what our elected officials say and do. I know you think you should be taken as seriously as a heart attack, but every time you, or some other elected dingbat opens their pie hole, it comes across much more akin to a fart attack. Here’s a quick look at a liberal congressional retreat where they’re discussing President Trump.

Finally, I submit this…a grouping of baboons is called a “congress,” and I suspect there is good reason for that. Baboons come in many varieties, and colors. Some sport a blue ass, while others sport asses of red. The way I see it, that crosses the center aisle of politics and as long as our elected officials in Washington continue to act like a congress of baboons trying to hump a football…they’re fair game, but Fred Wilson has proclaimed that we not make fun of the baboons lest we be prosecuted.

I believe it would be impolite not to accept the invitation to do so, and besides, as the great Will Rogers once said, “There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the entire government working for you.”

© Craig Andresen/thenationalpatriot.com 2019

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For more political commentary please visit my RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS partner Diane Sori’s blog The Patriot Factor to read her latest article, And the Oscar Goes To…

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Tuesday, July 9th, from 7 to 9pm EST on American Political Radio, RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS Craig Andresen and Diane Sori discuss ‘And the Oscar goes to…’;  ‘We Must Quit Making Fun of the Baboons’; and important news of the day.

Hope you can tune in at: http://listen.samcloud.com/w/73891/American-Political-Radio#history…or on Tune-In at:https://tunein.com/radio/American-Political-Radio-s273246/