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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

I’d like to take a bit of your time to talk to you today about the weather.

Sorry…I mean global warming.

Sorry…I meant to say…climate change.

Here in Nebraska, where I live, and you may not know where exactly that is so let me explain it this way…you know how, when you’re watching some weather lady give the national forecast on TV…well…we’re located directly behind where she stands while lying the rest of you about what it’s going to be like where you live.

Anyway, here in Nebraska last week…we had quite the weather…global warming/climate change event. We’re used to the climate changing here about every five minutes but last week was a doozy. Last Tuesday, it was beautiful, 50 degrees and sunny. Then last Wednesday, it started raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock from 2 in the freakin’ morning until it turned to snow at around 4 in the afternoon. The wind came up to about 60 mph and it snowed and blowed (a Nebraska saying) or snew and blew for the rest of you until about 2 in the afternoon on Thursday.

Well…

Here’s the problem…the entire western half of Nebraska was snowed in, while the entire eastern half of Nebraska was flooded out.

Every, and I mean EVERY road in the western part of our state was snowed shut, and on the eastern side we lost bridges, roads, dams, levees and entire towns were completely flooded…ten towns were evacuated…power was out all over the darn state, and well…you get the idea.

Now here in Nebraska, most of us don’t give a hoot about the “climate change” nonsense. Oh sure…some of the socialists who live in Lincoln and Omaha believe in it…but the rest of us have something called…common sense. We know it’s just the weather but…after last week…we’re starting to wonder.

Now let me make this clear…we still think the socialists are nuts, and we still think that the weather is just the weather…but given what we’ve been hearing from a few of the big brains on the socialist side of politics…folks like Al Gore, that Common Core-tez woman and the new Vanilla Obama…Beto O’Rourke…we have a few questions before we make our decision.

We common sense Nebraskans use our common sense not only where the weather is concerned, but also where our money is concerned, so let me start the questions with this little gem…why, if as the three big socialist brains claim, that climate change is man-made, and that the science is settled that we as a civilization have only 12 years left on this planet if we don’t do something about the weather…why in the hell are we still pouring money into “researching” it?

Seems to us common sense Nebraskans, that if it’s all settled…we could up and quit the research, so here’s an idea…let’s not put one more thin dime into trying to figure out what the socialists tell us is all figured out already…wait a dozen years…and see what happens.

So far, socialists have spent hundreds of billions of our dollars to come to the conclusion that we’re all gonna die in 12 years. Us common sense Nebraskans ain’t spent a penny to come to the conclusion that we’re NOT all gonna die in 12 years.

Either way it goes…we won’t have to spend another dime on it. Right?

Okay then…let’s say 12 years goes by…we’re still here…and the weather in Nebraska still does what it did last week. At that point, even we common sense folks might be willing to give it another think…but like I said…we take a common sense approach to how we spend our money, and the socialists keep telling us that the only way to change the weather is to throw money at it.

It’s like a religion to those socialists.

Now, here in common sense Nebraska, we know that religion costs money. Every Sunday, they pass a plate around the church and everybody sitting there pitches in a little money. To the casual observer, that money seems like it going to God’s salary, but to we more skeptical common sense folks, we know that money goes to keeping the lights on inside the church as a way to keep folks from falling asleep during a Sunday morning sermon…keeps the water running so that folks and their babies can be dunked or sprinkled every once in a while…and to maintain the walls of the church to keep the heat in and the heathens out.

Here in my little community, it’s always nice and comfortable inside our church regardless of what it’s like outside, or so I’ve been told because I, myself have never been inside our church which just goes to show the socialists that walls work, in every way, as intended.

Anyway, back to the weather…

If, as the socialists claim, the way to change the weather is to throw money at it, and the cost of this money throwing business is $93 TRILLION dollars over the next ten years…let’s call it $100 trillion because nothing ever comes in on budget…how do we divide it up?

The easy way would be to do it by state. $100 trillion divided by 50 states would come out to $2 trillion bucks per state. Now if you use Obama math…you would have to divide $100 trillion dollars by 57 states but I counted the stars on the flag and we common sense folks prefer even numbers so we’ll stick with the $2 trillion per state number.

As I said, that’s the easy way but it is not the fair way, because some states have a whole lot more folks in them that other states have so…let’s take that $100 trillion and divide it by the number of folks who live in the entire country. That works out to $285714.29 per person.

As I said, the socialists tell us that’s a 10 year figure total, which brings it down to $28,571 and change per person per year. Now I don’t know of many kids or babies that are raking in that kind of money every year, and I know there’s full grown people in that 350 million people that aren’t making that much scratch either but, that’s what it comes to, and the socialists say they’re gonna add that amount to our taxes.

Well…here in common sense Nebraska, we’re already being taxed to bejesus…especially in property taxes and we don’t really want a weather tax tacked on top of that, so…we would just as soon pay our portion in one lump sum.

Now before I start driving all around the common sense portion of Nebraska asking good folks to pay their $28,571.29 per person…man, woman and child, we would like to know one very important thing…

To whom do we write the check?

Common sense Nebraskans like to know that their money is being wisely spent, so we’re sure as hell not gonna write our check to change the weather to the socialists. They’re confused by bathrooms for the love of God, and the way we have it figured…if you don’t know which bathroom you’re supposed to use, you more than likely don’t have a clue regarding how to change the weather with our money.

Besides, here in Nebraska and up to the north of us in South Dakota, we’re too darn busy digging our cows out of the snow to give a happy damn what socialists think.

It also doesn’t seem appropriate, or smart to write a weather changing check to the government. The way I see it is, if the government can’t figure out the whole post office thing, they don’t stand a chance of figuring out how to change the weather.

Let me explain…you’ll think I’m making this up, but rest assured, I’m not. In my little community, we have a post office. If I want to mail a letter to somebody in the next community…Valentine Nebraska…I go to my post office, buy a 55 cent stamp and give them my letter. A mail truck comes from Valentine…25 miles away…and picks up my letter and takes it to Valentine where it gets put into a different mail truck and taken to North Platte, Nebraska…125 miles south of Valentine. In North Platte, the post office there sorts through the letters and puts my letter on yet another mail truck and drives it back to Valentine…where they sort it out and finally deliver it to the address next door to the one I put on the envelope.

Gas, right now in my part of the world is about $2.50 per gallon, and those trucks get, at best, about 15 miles per gallon. The first leg of my letter’s trip, with the truck from Valentine to my post office and back to Valentine costs about 8.50 in gas. The second leg…from Valentine to North Platte costs about $20.85, and the trip back to Valentine costs another $20.85. In gas alone…not counting whatever postal workers get paid…just the gas cost is…over $50 bucks…and all it cost me was 55 cents.

What we’re talking about here are a bunch of pinheads who can’t for the very life of them figure out why the post office is losing money, and all they do is take the stamp increase money and use it to buy some more of those, “Next Window Please” signs. I mean, for the price of a few handfuls of grass and a tube of Preparation H…the dagone PONY EXPRESS could get my letter there faster, cheaper AND more accurately…even if both the rider AND the horse were BLIND.

Mull this over…do you REALLY think that the same outfit that spends millions upon billions of our taxpayer dollars to buy treadmills for shrimp, lush green patterned camo for Afghan National Army uniforms…that country is 98 percent DESERT and a study to find out how concubines in Caracas caught the clap is smart enough to change the weather with our money?

Okay…here in the common sense part of Nebraska. I’m told by those who know first-hand that it’s comfortable inside the church, that GOD is in charge of the weather…but before I go asking common sense Nebraskans to make their weather changing checks out to GOD…there’s something I need to point out…

Because we know that the money in the church plate is going for keeping the lights on, for dunking and sprinkling water and to keep the heathens out…we also know that God is getting paid the same amount per year as President Trump. And quite frankly…neither one of them needs the money.

Here’s the bottom line…we know that money can pay people to fix our roads, bridges, levees, houses and businesses in Nebraska…we’ve done it before. In fact, the history of Nebraska is replete with massive floods and giant snow storms dating back to when somebody started keeping track of such things the 1880’s. Before that, we know the whole darn place was under water because we can find shark teeth in the dirt.

What the socialists are telling us is caused by man has been going on for millions of years before people were even invented.

The people of Nebraska…common sense people have always been resilient, always helped their neighbors and worked hard to get done what needs doing.

Our cities and towns will come together and rebuild because they are tough, determined willing to go the extra mile because they know that others are counting on them.

The farmer and ranchers will work as hard as they can for as long as they can to save their fields and livestock…and when their bones ache, and their minds grow weary…they will work even harder because that’s just who they are, and they’re made of the best stuff you can possibly find in people anywhere.

We also know enough to know that you can’t change the weather by throwing money at it, and since there doesn’t seem to be anyone to make a check out to in that regard…you socialists will just have to go peddling your religion somewhere else.

Now…if you’ll excuse me…I have to shovel the global warming off my driveway.

© Craig Andresen/thenationalpatriot.com 2019

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RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS…LIVE!

Friday, March 22th from 7 to 9pm EST on American Political Radio, RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS Craig Andresen and Diane Sori discuss ‘Misplaced Tears, Misplaced Sorrow’; ‘A Change in the Weather, Not the Climate’; and important news of the day.

Hope you can tune in at: http://listen.samcloud.com/w/73891/American-Political-Radio#history...or on Tune-In at: https://tunein.com/radio/American-Political-Radio-s273246/