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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

First, it was the cinnamon challenge…a viral internet fad a couple of years ago where idiots would attempt to eat a spoonful of ground cinnamon in under 60 seconds…without drinking anything.

It was, of course, dangerous as cinnamon can coat the mouth and throat, which in turn can result in coughing, gagging, vomiting and inhaling of cinnamon, which in turn leads to throat irritation, breathing difficulties, and risk of pneumonia or a collapsed lung.

None of the risks prevented hundreds of millennials from trying to do it, and post their ill-fated attempts to YouTube, but luckily, that fad came to an inglorious end.

But…what’s a world without an obtuse fad?

The next big thing for millennial morons was the Tide Pod challenge…

In that bit of abject stupidity, the mentally challenged, mostly liberal loons, would attempt to devour a laundry detergent pod…and post their video to YouTube.

That too is very dangerous, as ingesting laundry soap could, potentially, kill you, which led the Centers for Disease Control to issue a warning, and label Tide Pods as a health risk. It’s a real sad statement on today’s youth when a government agency has to issue such a warning against eating laundry detergent…which anyone with common sense knows better than to do…but liberals in elected office came out and questioned why Tide Pods were made to look like Gummy Bears to begin with…which leads me to yet another question…

Have American adults been so dumbed down by liberal indoctrination as children, that now the only way to convince an adult to take vitamins…is to make them into Gummy Bears?

Sadly…yep….and I wouldn’t be one bit surprised if Nancy Pelosi, who one could reasonably suppose has been coating her Tide Pods in cinnamon for years, will introduce legislation to make it illegal for anyone under the age of 21 to purchase laundry soap, and to have such soap kept under lock and key in all stores…just like razor blades, which judging by the coast of them, should only be sold in mall jewelry stores.

Look…fads are nothing new…

Back in the day, high school and college students were trying to see how many people they could fit into a phone booth…something today’s millennials wouldn’t understand, having probably never seen a phone booth in their lives.

Allow me to educate the little mind-controlled morons…phone booths used to be found on street corners, or next to buildings, and were glass enclosed little rooms about 2 feet square and 7 feet tall, that contained a telephone, in which one inserted loose change in order to call someone.

Those phones, by the way, did nothing but make phone calls…there were no cameras attached, computers hadn’t been invented yet, and the only way to record how many people were stuffed into one, was by somebody outside the booth with a camera that used…film.

After the phone booth stuffing fad…it was cars…the smaller the better, and the VW Beatle was the odds on favorite in car stuffing challenges.

The idea there was to see how many high school or college kids could be crammed into a Bug…which really had nothing to do with the actual number of bodies, but had everything to do with copping a feel of some member of the opposite sex who was smashed up against you.

I actually took part in one such event in high school…and for the record, in case Carla is reading this…that wasn’t the gear shift….and thanks for the memories…and the mammaries.

Now, of course, the latest mindless viral fad is snorting condoms. In this effort to prove idiocy, millennials are rapidly inhaling the prophylactics up their collective probosci, in the attempt of pulling it out of their mouths, which comes of course, with its own set of health risks as one can imagine.

It should come as no surprise that so many millennials are using condoms so inappropriately…it’s no doubt a genetic disorder. Think about it…obviously, their parents had no idea how to properly use a condom, and thus, we shouldn’t expect the product of the sperm that won the race to have any better idea what they’re supposed to be used for.

This too shall pass, and when it does something else, equally as bone-crushingly stupid will fill the void…and because most of these asinine challenges are being undertaken by liberal loons…might I be so bold as to make a few suggestions for what they should try next?

In that regard…I offer the following challenges…

Poke a rabid badger with a short stick, and let us see the results on YouTube.

Make toast in the bathtub.

Claim to have irrefutable evidence against Hillary Clinton.

Go for a long hike in Iran.

Steal a propaganda poster in North Korea.

Go to any Buttkrakistan, and start drawing pictures of Mohammad.

Move to Chicago.

While all of those could well shorten your life by a considerable margin, none of them should be any more of a problem for today’s liberal millennials than eating Tide Pods, trying to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon, or snorting condoms…but here are a few more ideas to challenge the eat, swallow and snort crowd…

Drive a replica of the General Lee through the drive-thru of Starbucks on the Berkley campus, order a “large black coffee,” tell them your name is Milo, and ask them if your MAGA bumper sticker gets you a discount. When you get to the window…tell them that you hate Josh Groban…then actually drink the coffee.

To his face…call Chuck Norris a Nazi. Be sure to post the video of the 78 year old action star kicking your ass because that’s just the sort of thing that’ll go viral.

Go down to Texas and randomly, in rural areas, knock on people’s doors, and using your best NY accent, tell those folks that you’re from the government, and you’re there to take their guns…kind of makes that whole Chuck Norris ass kicking look like a much better option.

Or…you could simply try this…

While it more than likely won’t kill you…it will probably prevent procreation.

At this point, it is important to add the official disclaimer…do NOT to ANY of these things as all are stupid, and potentially deadly.

The disclaimer is necessary, for the same reason so many common items have warning labels on them. Somewhere, at some time, some abject idiot…more often than not…probably a liberal…did exactly what the label warns against, and somebody else got sued.

Morellis Cleaners, wherever in the hell they are, has clothes hangers with a label that warns against swallowing them…replete with a diagram for the illiterate.

You know those little plastic letter openers…the ones with a pointy end and a blade? Some actually come with a warning to wear SAFETY GOGGLES…because some abject idiot managed to LOOSE AN EYE while OPENING HIS or HER mail.

I’m not kidding.

On the back of the delivery trucks owned by Chipotle Grill is a warning sign that, “DRIVERS DO NOT CARRY BURRITOS.” Apparently, caravans of illegal alien banditos committing burrito heists has become a problem.

Those cardboard sleeves that fit around your cardboard coffee cups…because nothing insulates a flimsy cardboard cup like a flimsy cardboard sleeve…are printed with a warning that says…”CAUTION – HOT! DO NOT POUR ON CROTCH AREA,” unless, of course, you recently set yours afire…and that warning is printed in TWO languages…just in case.

One of my favorites is on the label inside a pair of children’s underwear that literally warns…”WASH INSIDE OUT – REMOVE CHILD BEFORE WASHING.” That’s right…in some deep blue state…some village of idiots raising other people’s kids must have been leaving the skivvies on the kids, and running them as a complete set through the delicate cycle…or I at least HOPE it was the delicate cycle.

The current batch of viral video fads, and the list of things people have to be warned about continues to grow, because today’s millennials will do anything to garner 15 minutes of fame, and they have a complete lack of common sense, and while that explains millennials…what about full grown, seasoned adults that engage in bone-crushingly idiot behavior?

Well…

That is nothing more than cranial-rectal syndrome.

Take my advice…the less of your life you spend trying to go viral on YouTube…the longer your life will be. On the other hand…more people eating Tide Pods and snorting condoms will result in fewer idiots.

What the hell liberal millennials…by all means carry on if to do nothing more than prove that…

Darwin was right.

Copyright © 2018 Craig Andresen / thenationalpatriot.com all rights reserved

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 For more political commentary please visit my RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS partner Diane Sori’s blog The Patriot Factor to read her latest article No Longer Enemies But Not Quite Friends…Yet