By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on americanpbn.com

Now that Obama has ISIS contained…Paris, San Bernardino, most of the Middle East, a good portion of North Africa and areas of Europe along with various other places within the geographical boundaries of earth notwithstanding…the collective heads of state have turned their collective heads to more pressing matters.

WEATHER WEASELS OF THE APOCALYPSE…REJOICE…AS THEY HAVE SAVED OUR ORB FROM ITSELF!!!

That’s correct…a CLIMATE CHANGE deal has been reached and thus, for the first time since the creation of the 3rd rock from the sun, our climate will not change!!!

There was a standing ovation as the 195 countries involved in utter nonsense announced that a deal had been reached by which the world’s temperature would not rise by more than 2 degrees Celsius and fossil fuels would become obsolete.

See below for details…

It was announced that the first universal, LEGALLY BINDING deal to tackle global warming, had been the outcome of United Nations (of thugs, thieves and despots) gathering in Paris and Dave Cameron called it, “a huge step forward in helping to secure the future of our planet.”

The deal, which sets a no more than 2c temperature rise ceiling also commits the world’s assorted numb-nuts to seek a somewhat more ambitious global warming ceiling of but 1.5c and here’s exactly how they’re gonna do it.

Okay…they had to admit that they don’t have a clue regarding how to do it but they’re gonna do it anyway which should make us all sleep a little better every night.

In lieu of having no clue, there are steps being taken that seem to solve any and all problems we, as a planet, face. That’s right…THEY’RE GONNA THROW MONEY AT IT!!!

Part of the LEGALLY BINDING agreement is a NON LEGALLY BINDING agreement that stipulates that DEVELOPED countries pony up a goal of “mobilizing” some $100 BILLION dollars of both public and private funding each and every year after 2020. Well, THAT’S certainly good news isn’t it? Well…it’s gets better as the DEVELOPED countries must pay for the UNDEVELOPED countries so that the UNDEVELOPED countries can…” adapt to the effects of climate change,” although no LEGALLY BINDING amount of money has been set in the LEGALLY BINDING agreement which means…WE CAN ALL KICK IN MORE THAN $100 BILLION DOLLARS!!!

Okay, now let me just see if I have this right…the DEVELOPED countries must pay through the nose to help the UNDEVELOPED countries…”ADAPT TO CLIMATE CHANGE,” via the terms of the agreement that will…PREVENT climate change.

That seems about par for the course doesn’t it?

It should be noted that our friends in the UK already HAVE a Climate Change Act…the CCA which is the product of their Climate Change Commission otherwise known as the CCA which has set a goal of reducing greenhouse gas emissions by 80% of the 1990 measurement by 2050 and I’m reasonably sure that to derive whatever figure that ends up being, one must employ Common Core Math or…CCM.

E-I-E-I-O.

French President François Hollande, who hosted the event and therefore was the only one of the 195 participants who did not fly to Paris on a giant, private jet thus burning copious amounts of the soon to be outlawed fossil fuels both in getting there and in going back home stated that the agreement “welcomed the most beautiful and peaceful revolution” and said the deal was a “major leap for mankind.”

Ummm… excuse moi…while I might agree that the agreement is somewhat revolting…wouldn’t following a herd of lemmings over a cliff also be a major leap for mankind?

Here’s a little piece of the climate change deal that is rather perplexing…it seems that this crack-pot idea also has the world, extracting carbon from the atmosphere by the second half of this century.

We are going to come up with a way to…extract carbon molecules…from the atmosphere…without extracting any OTHER molecules…in the next 35 years? Oh really? Well, let’s just say it’s possible, which it isn’t but…if it was…and we do extract carbon molecules from the atmosphere…well, what then? What exactly are we supposed to do with them THEN Skippy? Burn them? Bury them? WHAT???

One environmental group, Christian Aid, characterized the climate change deal as, “a new era which has the potential to transform the global economy to address climate change.” Oh, it will transform the world’s economy alright…to the tune of hundreds and hundreds of billions of dollars tossed down the climate change toilet.

Another group, Friends of Earth says the deal doesn’t go anywhere near far enough.

Is that right? It doesn’t go far enough? As though a bunch of bureaucrats whose combined knowledge of science wouldn’t lead them to know how to change the thermostat in their own homes can somehow dictate the weather, manually keeping the earth’s temperature from either rising or falling by more than 2c doesn’t go far enough? They even admitted that they don’t know how to do what they have agreed to do and they’re willing to pour their nation’s money into the scheme and that doesn’t go FAR ENOUGH???

The entire charade was carried out like a PBS telethon aimed at preserving programs that almost nobody watches with the idea that if enough people pledge to throw their money at it, those in charge of it can and will control the temperature but here’s the rub…with the pledges in hand…according to the religion of global warming deacons…the earth’s temperature will rise 2.7c over the next century.

And we didn’t even get a complimentary tote bag for our donation.

Now I realize all of this sounds insane but in all honesty, keeping the earth’s temperature steady isn’t as tough as it sounds.

You see, according to NASA measurements, the average temperature of good ol’ earth hasn’t changes one iota in the last 18 years and, according to REAL science, we are now headed into another mini ice age. Oh yeas, a mini ice age just like the ones that befall us every 300-400 years and if one looks at actual scientific data, amassed from thousands of years of evidence in geological records, one notices that this earth of ours has been going through the same weather, or climate cycles…getting warmer and then cooler…warmer and cooler over and over again…for the past 4000 years.

Since these climate change morons don’t believe in actual data, the like of which NASA collects and given the notion that they believe, with every fiber of their being that the world IS getting warmer, one suspects that they will rely on a more direct form of taking the world’s temperature than with a satellite…using the time-honored tradition of employing a rectal thermometer and may I suggest sticking it into the…BUTTCRACKISTAN region.

It has been only recently that some idiots have become so arrogant as to believe that we can, as humans, dictate the weather.

There were, however, some things the bloviating baboons of climate change failed to address at their conference on self-importance like volcanoes. What are we to do about volcanic eruptions that pound carbon and greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere? Cork em? Give em antacids? What???

And farting…they failed to address flatulence which is THE leading cause of the dispersal of methane into our atmosphere, and as I have previously written…BUGS and livestock are responsible for the bulk of THAT however, I’m sure that in some follow-up conference it will be put forth that we, as humans…by the year 2031…will only be allowed to fart on Tuesdays and Fridays as a means by which to save the world from any future “pull my finger” apocalypse.

At the end of the day, in Paris last week, the deal encourages all the nations adhering to this nonsense to return, before 2020…every 5 years and pledge MORE and MORE money to be wasted in the pursuit of what exactly nobody really knows but…as it is primarily the SUN that controls the weather on earth rather than a bunch of narcissistic yahoos so how about this for a future project…

PLEDGE A TRILLION DOLLARS TO INSTALL A DIMMER SWITCH ON THE DAMN THING!!! Crank it up if we’re feeling chilly…turn it down if we’re sweating and take the rest of this climate change crap and SHOVE IT WHEREVER THE SUN DON’T SHINE!!!

There ya go…problem solved.

You’re welcome.