It seems like it SHOULD have been a short week, what with Memorial Day and all but…LIBERALS COULD MAKE A ONE CAR PARADE SEEM LIKE IT TAKES A MONTH OF SUNDAYS!!!

Not to worry though, we made it through and we’ve come to yet another Friday.

Let’s just jump into the deep end of liberal insanity shall we?

Friends and Patriots…

I’m fuming.

We have an URGENT update on the “MISSING” Malaysian Flight 370!!!!

Yes, I KNOW this has been covered ad nauseum …hell I’m ad NAUSEATED by it MYSELF but THIS is important and I feel COMPELLED to bring it to you.

Dear whoever built the thing that looks for things that are lost and make noise so you can find them…

You had ONE job…

I’m talking to the nerd or team of nerds who, no doubt, acquired taxpayer dollars to fund their research to build something called a…”Towed Pinger Locator”…It’s a thingy that gets towed behind a ship to listen for and locate the black boxes of flying machines that may well have become submersibles.

Within days of Flight 370 going missing…EVERYBODY just KNEW it went into the Indian Ocean so…they go and get the ”Towed Pinger Locator” and start dragging it around and VIOLA…they started hearing “PINGS!!!”

That was 2 ½ months ago but the “PINGS” faded away and they’ve been looking around in the same area ever since but…on WEDNESDAY…we learned THIS…it seems the “PINGS” they were hearing either came from…THE SHIP they were using or…

THEY CAME FROM THE DAMNED THINGY THEY WERE TOWING BEHIND THE SHIP!!!

Yep…according to Michael Dean, the U.S. Navy’s deputy director of ocean engineering…“Our best theory at this point is that (the pings were) likely some sound produced by the ship … or within the electronics of the Towed Pinger Locator.”

Look…I’m not a towed thingy engineer but, I do have a little advice for those who are…IF YOU’RE GONNA MAKE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS FOR LOST THINGS THAT MAKE A CERTAIN NOISE SO YOU CAN FIND THEM…MAKE SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T MAKE THE SAME CERTAIN NOISE  AS WHAT YOU’RE LOOK FOR…FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!!

I know nerds have a hard time getting dates and all but geez…a BLACK BOX is NOT going to COME TO YOU when it HEARS ITS MATING CALL!!!!!

Fuming.

So…there I was…watching CNN the other night…YES…CNN. Sometimes, when I need a laugh I watch CNN because I have no idea where they moved the Comedy Network to on my Dish…and besides…Abbott and Costello was on.

Oh, wait…what?

CAROL Costello was on and she was blathering about how simply AWFUL it is that the house is thinking of cutting funding to MOOOOOOOchelle Obama’s “MAKE KIDS EAT CRAP FOR SCHOOL LUNCHES” program when she played a clip and followed it up with an ABSURD statement. Well…see for yourselves…

Ummmmmmm….MOOOOOOOOOOchelle signed some piece of legislation into law?

MOOOOOOOOOchelle?????

Apparently, either  nobody at CNN has ever taken a CIVICS class or…THE DICTATOR IS NOW LETTING EVA PERON SIGN OFF ON LAWS!!!!

Maybe Obama’s just setting the MOO up to take the fall for AUTHORIZING THE ARMING OF OUR ENEMIES IN A TIME OF WAR in both Libya and Syria…”SHE DID IT…SHE DID IT…I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW SHE DID IT UNTIL I READ ABOUT IT IN THE PRESS!!!”

MOOOOOchelle has a pen…AND A PACKAGE…and she’s not afraid to use them.

Come on Michaelchelle…

Seriously…

Boxers or briefs?????

 

Relax…Michael…I MEAN MOOOOOOOOchelle didn’t sign ANYTHING into law regardless of how much CNN would like her to but next week, the MOO is going to have a little talk with folks to pump up her CRAP FOR LUNCH program and spread propaganda about how well it’s working.

The PROBLEM…and what she WON’T tell us is that more than 1 MILLION kids have QUIT eating her school lunches according to the Agriculture Department which means that schools across the nation are THROWING MONEY at veggies and other low fat grazing snacks and then…THEY HAVE TO THROW THEM OUT!!!

The bill coming from the house simply lets schools who are sick and tired of wasting money they don’t have on stuff kids won’t eat to opt OUT of the program so the money can be better spent and that’s what has Michael’s…I MEAN MOOOOOOOOOOOOOchelle’s BOXERS IN A BUNCH!!!!!

Listen MOOO…WE DON’T NEED A NATIONAL NANNY TELLING US WHAT TO EAT…especially one that GETS OFF AIR FARCE ONE…LOOKING LIKE THE POSTER WOMAN FOR “PEOPLE OF WALMART…WITH AN ASS…3 AXE HANDLES WIDE!!!!!

I’m fuming.

And finally…

John Wayne once said…”Life is hard. It’s harder if you’re stupid,” and let’s face it…LIFE IS HARDER FOR OBAMA!!!

For instance…

There’s a clearly systemic debacle with the VA and our veterans are dying because of it. Obama KNEW all about it BEFORE he took office and he VOWED to “FIX” the backlog problem.

Oh…He FIXED it alright…BY ALLOWING THE VA TO COOK THE BOOKS AND FABRICATE FRAUDULENT WAITING LISTS TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THERE WERE WAY FEWER VETERANS WAITING FOR TREATMENT!!!

Then…Obama had his sock puppet…JAY CARNEY…tell the press that he, THE DICTATOR…didn’t even KNOW about it until he HEARD ABOUT IT FROM THE MEDIA!!!

That made life hard for Obama.

Then, as the VA scandal started CRASHING DOWN AROUND HIS BIG, FLOPPY EARS…the Dictator makes a “SURPRISE” visit to AFGHANISTAN for a preplanned speech to narcissistically make himself look like he cares about the troops where he proceeds to circulate the NAME of the KABUL…COVERT CIA CHIEF OF STATION!!!!!

Life is harder when you’re stupid.

Okay…THAT photo op with the troops didn’t bolster THEIR moral or HIS poll ratings with are now sagging lower than MICHAEL’S…I MEAN MOOOOOOOOOOchelle’s KEESTER so what does he do NEXT???

Off goes the Dictator to WEST POINT where he has ANOTHER SHOT AT BEING SEEN WITH THE TROOPS…future veterans who know they’re gonna get screwed TOO as long as DOPEY is in charge.

When he GETS there…the Dictator receives a STANDING OVATION from the cadets…LESS THAN 25% OF THE CADETS meaning that more than 75% of them…DIDN’T EVEN GIVE HIM GOLF APPLAUSE!!!

Life is hard.

So…DURING his little pep talk…KNOWING THESE FUTURE VETS DIDN’T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER LIE ABOUT HOW HE WAS GONNA FIX THE PROBLEMS AT THE VA…Obama didn’t even MENTION it…AT ALL!!!

Instead…the Dictator told these BATTLE TRAINED FIGHTING MEN AND WOMEN IN OUR NATION’S UNIFORM…

 

THEY’RE GONNA GO TO WAR AGAINST OUR DREADED ENEMY…THE FREAKIN’ WEATHER???????

HOLY CRAP…it’s getting warmer…SEND IN THE NAVY!!!!

Wait, what…it’s getting COLDER…BOOTS ON THE GROUND…WE NEED BOOTS ON THE GROUND…SEND IN THE ARMY!!!!!

Oh, my…it’s a little breezy today…LAUNCH THE AIR FORCE IMMEDIATELY!!!!!

GOOD HEAVENS…I THINK IT’S GOING TO DRIZZLE!!!!!

Yeah…you saw THAT one coming didn’t ya?

NOW he’s got a whole audience WHO JUST LEARNED ALL THE WORDS TO…

First to fight for the right, And to build the Nation’s might,

And The Army Goes Rolling Along.

Proud of all we have done,

Fighting till the battle’s won, And The Army Goes Rolling Along…

sitting there DESPERATELY SEARCHING GOOGLE FOR THE LYRICS TO…

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away…

AND THEY’RE NOT ONE BIT HAPPY ABOUT IT!!!

In fact, I’m willing to bet that there’s not ONE CADET…even amongst the 25% WHO PROVIDED A STANDING OVATION FOR THE DICTATOR…who’s looking forward to earning  a SNOWFLAKE MEDAL WITH CUMULUS CLOUD CLUSTERS for going into COMBAT…AGAINST A THERMOSTAT!!!!!

For Obama…Life is harder because he’s stupid.

If the TWERP wants to actually DO something for our veterans…I’ve got a few suggestions.

1)    SHUT THE HELL UP…Our vets are sick of being lied to by the enemy already.

2)    FIRE THAT SHINSEKI IDIOT!!!

3)    ABOLISH THE MILITARY VERSION OF OBAMACARE AND LET VETERANS (and the rest of us Americans for that matter) GO SEE DOCTORS IN PRIVATE PRACTICE…WHO KNOWS…MAYBE WE’LL GET TO LIKE EM AND WANT TO KEEP EM!!!

And 4) RESIGN…GET THE HELL OUT OF OUR HOUSE…TAKE THAT GRAZING BOVINE WITH YA…JUMP ON A  MALAYSIAN AIRLINES FLIGHT AND WE’LL ALL DROP OUR DRAWERS AND GIVE YA A 21 ASS BLASTER SALUTE!!!

My friends…Today IS Friday and…

I AM FUMING!!!