Well…leave it to that ever-so hard-hitting news organization, AOL to boldly ask the earth-shattering questions of the earth-shatteringly stupid liberals around us.

AOL ace journalist, Carey Reilly stood firm and asked some LaLa land loon, Paul Wesley from “Vampire Diaries” why, in fact, he named his cat…”CAT???”

This idiot’s answer should make the world a better place. “I guess I’m making a statement against humanizing cats. I named the cat Whiskey first, because it has long whiskers and I also like drinking whiskey. But then it just seemed cheesy to me. So I went back to Cat and now it’s just Cat.”

Here’s MY in depth question…WHY IN THE HELL ARE WE HUMANIZING LIBERAL DIPWADS BY NAMING THEM…PAUL WESLEY???

Ya see how much crap I have to sift through just to get to the liberal insanity that MATTERS???

Save your computers and put down your beverage of choice. Patriot friends…

Today IS Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Oh boy…guess what?

The polar bears are dying again or, at least they’re in danger of dying again.

Remember, about ten years ago when Al “global warming” Gore told us that polar bears were all gonna die because we were driving SUV’s and using aerosol deodorants and all the ice was melting because of it? You remember, the polar bears were all going to drown.

Well, the exact same conditions are in place right now that caused that blow-hard blow hole to issue his dire warnings but, what nobody told you back then is that those bears were NOT starving because of global WARMING but…

BECAUSE THERE WAS TOO…MUCH…ICE!!!

Yep…right now, just like ten years ago…The ice is SO THICK that seals aren’t able to drill THROUGH it to make air holes and, the bears coming out of their deep winter’s sleep…CAN’T FIND THEIR FAVORITE SNACK!!!

What the global warming GORE-illas saw back THEN was a bunch of skinny polar bears and the ice melting in the SUMMER. What they didn’t want you to know was that in the SPRING…THERE WAS TOO MUCH DARN ICE so…the global warming knot heads said the polar bear population was way down because they were dying off…the liberal jerks did what jerks do and jerked their knees…declared them a threatened species so that the EPA could regulate more stuff costing us all more money and the media loons all sounded the alarm.

Well…as it turns out…those missing polar bears didn’t die…THEY FREAKIN’ MOVED…TO WHERE THE ALL YOU CAN EAT SEAL BUFFET HAD SET UP SHOP AND…THEY WERE AND ARE DOIN’ JUST FINE!!!

All of this goes to prove two things.

1)      Polar bears, just like Conservatives, are MUCH more intelligent than are liberals and certainly have no need for the government to take care of them and…

2)      2) Just like seals…Liberals never learn.

Fuming.

Well we told ya there was gonna be trouble but…did the liberal loons listen???

NOOOOOOOO….

Over in the Rocky Mountain High as a damn Kite state…where liberals won the right justify their stoner mindset by making pot LEGAL…they are now starting to notice an odd but not unexpected side effect.

PEOPLE ARE GETTING STONED TO BEJESUS on…BAKED GOODS!!!!!

Yep. Because nobody really knows how potent the different flavors of weed really are and…because stoners like to BAKE THE STUFF INTO BROWNIES AND COOKIES…all sorts of nasty crap is happening.

One college student from Wyoming jumped to his death from…apparently…something that was higher than he was…after eating 10 TIMES THE DAILY RECOMMENDED AMOUNT OF…POT COOKIES which begs the question…THERE’S A DAILY RECOMMENDED AMOUNT OF POT COOKIES???

WTH?????

Anyway…Colorado has now set up a pot eating task force to study the phenomenon…a sort of BETTY-CROCKED-OFF-HER-ASS cook book investigation which has, and I’m NOT making this up…suggested labeling edibles with a system reminiscent of ski slope guidelines: green circles on the package for the weed that makes you sit on the couch and talk to the TV remote, and BLACK DIAMONDS for brownies, cookies and candies locked, loaded and LACED with the amount of high octane weed iy yakes to make you understand BOB DYLAN’S VOCAL PERFORMANCES like a HOOKED ON PHONICS tape.

On the up side…the Boulder Colorado  Ladies Auxiliary HAS noticed a sharp rise in revenues from their last bake sale.

I DO have some advice for the Denver PUFF N’ STIFF crowd however…STOP SMOKING SO MUCH GOOFY GRASS THAT YOU CAN’T DISCERN YOUR BUDS FROM CHOCOLATE CHIPS and for those who are just passing through…86 THE 4/20 BROWNIES FROM THE 7-11 BEFORE THE TOKER TASK FORCE MAKES US ALL PASS A PEE TEST BEFORE WE CAN BUY THE COMBINATION OF OATMEAL AND RAISINS AT A LOCAL SUPERMARKET!!!

And ya think I’M fuming?

Finally…

I have what I believe to be a pertinent question for our friends in the Israeli military and, I do hope this won’t give away any classified secrets as to their capabilities but…

IS THERE ANY CHANCE…ANY CHANCE AT ALL THAT YOU GUYS HAVE ANYTHING IN THE ARSENAL LIKE A…MORON SEEKING MISSILE?????

The reason I ask is that our Secretary of the STATE OF DUMBASS THINGS TO SAY…LURCH KERRY…SHOULD BE A HIGH PROFILE TARGET FOR JUST SUCH A PROJECTILE IF YOU HAVE ONE HANDY!!!!!

While in a closed door Trilatteral Commission meeting the other day…KETCHUP BOY stated…”If there’s no two-state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict soon, Israel risks becoming “an apartheid state.”

Well…THANK GOD THAT BIMBO FROM THE CLIPPERS WAS THERE TO ROLL TAPE OR WE MIGHT HAVE NEVER KNOW LURCH WAS DIGGING A BASEMENT UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THIS REGIME’S BARREL!!!

First of all, to achieve a two-state solution…BOTH the PALESTINIANS and the ISRAELIS have to WANT a two-state solution and so far…ISRAEL IS WILLING BUT THE MUZZIES AIN’T!!!

The Palestinian poobahs just starting SPOONING WITH HAMAS AGAIN and HAMAS WANTS TO KILL ALL THE JEWS!!! Does THAT sound like a gaggle of goons ready to seek peace to YOU???

Second off…LURCH seems to think that a TRUE two-state solution would include the right for NON ISRAELI PALESTINIANS to VOTE in ISRAELI ELECTIONS!!!

Well THAT makes about as much sense as allowing NON AMERICAN MEXICANS to vote in OUR…wait, what???

OH YEAH…THIS INSIPID REGIME WANTS THAT TOO!!!!!

And 3^rd…THERE IS NO SUCH BLOOMIN’ THING AS A PALESTINIAN TO BEGIN WITH!!!!!

Ya wanna know exactly who the real…ORIGINAL…Palestinians were???

THEY WERE THE JEWS AS IT WAS THE ROMANS WHO, IN ORDER TO SQUASH JEWISH PATRIOTISM…CHANGED THE NAME OF…JUDEA TO…PALAESTINA!!! Those yahoos today, who are running amok, wearing table cloths from Italian pizzerias on their heads and lobbing ROCKETS at Israel  AIN’T NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF SQUATTERS WITH THE DIAPERS ON THEIR HEADS SO FULL OF CRAP THAT EVEN THE ARAB STATES DON’T WANT THEM!!!!

And don’t you liberal camel droppings start trying to tell me that the “Palestinians” are the PHILISTINES either because…THE PHILLIES WENT EXTINCT about 2500 YEARS AGO after being absorbed by the ASSYRIANS, THE BABYLONIANS AND THE…PERSIANS so even IF they survived THAT…THERE REAL HOMELAND WOULD BE…IRAN SO…BLOW IT OUT YOUR BURQUAS!!!!!

As for Iran…even THEY think the so-called “PALESTINIANS” are NUTTIER THAN A BUNCH OF SQUIRREL TURDS IN AN EMPTY BOX OF GOOBERS AND THEY DON’T WANT EM EITHER!!!

But…according to LURCH…THE ISRAELIS SHOULD TAKE EM IN??? GIVE AWAY THEIR LAND TO THE MOST UNHINGED MUSLIMS ON THE PLANET AND LET THEM ELECT THE LEADERSHIP OF THE MIDDLE EAST’S ONLY TRUE DEMOCRACY???

HOLY MOSES!!! HOW THE HELL MANY OF COLORADO’S POGASA SPRINGS POT PRALINES IS THAT PUTZ POUNDING DOWN???

FORGET TRYING TO GET THE “PALESTINIANS” TO PLAY NICE-NICE…HE’D STAND A BETTER CHANCE OF STRIKING A DIPLOMATIC DEAL BETWEEN THE POLAR BEARS AND THE DAMN SEALS!!!

My friends and fellow Patriots…

It’s Friday and…

I AM FUMING!!!!!