We are just a few days away from the end of the world as Obama knows it.
Sequestration is like giving the government growth machine a vasectomy…NOT a full castration.
To be quite honest, I was far more scared of the end of the Mayan calendar than I am of sequestration and for good reason.
What we’re talking about here is NOT the massive cuts and mayhem projected by the Dictator but a 2% slowing of the GROWTH of government this fiscal year or…roughly over the next 6 months.
That’s 2% of a projected $1.3 TRILLION DOLLAR SPENDING SPREE which means, at the end of this fiscal year, our big government spenders will STILL have spent more THIS year than last year.
This is, naturally, the truth the Dictator would rather you NOT know.
HE, and his faithless minions would much rather have you TERRIFIED of what will happen after this Friday’s deadline and he’s going to do everything he can to send you that message.
Sequester is NOT the doom and gloom, mass extermination event this Dictator is wailing and gnashing his teeth over and if your IQ is anywhere near double digits, it should cause you no alarm.
However…That said…
NEVER in history has one who occupies the oval office been in more DIRE need of a self-fulfilling prophecy and what we need to show some concern for is what HE might order done to ACHIEVE that doom and gloom scenario.
I, for one, would NOT put it past this self-aggrandizing, America hating bucket of drool to ORDER government agencies to slash and burn their agencies until it leaves Americans groveling for higher taxes to offset HIS orders to cut off heads rather than go to the barber shop for a little off the top.
And as PROOF of this assessment, last weekend, this “dream act” nightmare released more than 500 ILLEGAL ALIENS from jails in Arizona with plans to turn loose upon our communities some 10,000 MORE of them and why??? BECAUSE, CLAIMS JANET NAPOLITANO…OF THE “BUDGET CUTS AND SEQUESTRATION!!!
Anyway, while these “destruction of America” fools are running about like headless chickens and releasing ILLEGALS here is an incomplete list of things they are REALLY worried about.
Because of Sequestration…
Sandra Fluke will be forced, once per week, to slam her knees together.
Bob Menendez will have to start shaking hands with his LEFT as he will soon develop carpal tunnel in his RIGHT.
No more gym memberships for government shrimp.
Agencies like DHS, Social Security, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, the Department of Education and the IRS will now only be able to afford to purchase enough ammunition to shoot each and every American 4 times rather than 5.
Nancy Pelosi’s face spackle will be rationed.
Facebook will be asked to pay a token $1.00 in taxes.
The bolts, removed from the Marine’s rifles before the Inaugural Parade will be sold for scrap.
The GSA will have to cut their Jello wrestling seminar at their next convention.
Joe Biden’s wife, Jill, will have to fire but a SINGLE shot from a BLUNDERBUSS at GROUND LEVEL to frighten away unwanted visitors.
Obama’s teleprompter will be furloughed 1 day per week.
ACORN will be pulled from states number 51-57.
No more free Chap Stick for MSNBC Obama butt kissers.
Sorry Chris Matthews…Tingly Leg Syndrome will no longer be covered as a Pre-Existing condition under Obamacare.
Secret Service Agents accompanying the Dictator on his next trip to South America will be forced to stiff lower class hookers.
Quentin Tarantino’s sequel to the government funded “Django” will be filled with gratuitous bitch-slapping but
no special effects budget for shootings.
The White House propaganda department will have to recycle photo shopped images.
The ceremonial shampooing of the oval office prayer rugs will be cut back to once per month and the call to prayers will now be done with a plastic Vuvuzela.
American born terrorists, droned to death by the Dictator will henceforth be guaranteed only 70 virgins.
The King Obama, solar powered Holiday tree ornament manufacturing plant will relocated to China.
Automatic and semi-automatic weapons carried by the Palace Guard will be replaced by scissors purchased at…Staples.
The 1st Family will be restricted to no more than 12 vacations per year.
Obama’s personal caddy will be furloughed and replaced by Harry Reid who has, after all, been washing Obama’s balls for the last 4 years anyway.
Terrorists will no longer be able to submit their strawberry frappe receipts for reimbursement.
No more little blue pucks for the urinal in Michelle Obama’s private bathroom.
And…If Iran wants another drone…They’ll have to build it themselves!!!
Those are just SOME of the things the Dictator is scared of due to sequester but, rest assured, planes will not be falling from the sky, meat will continue to be safe to eat, cops and fire departments will still be on duty and food stamps will continue to be distributed…
UNLESS, of course…
Obama himself, issues more orders like those resulting in the release of illegal aliens from jails to run amok on our streets but don’t worry…
Teachers WILL still be in the brainwashing centers to continue the indoctrination of your children in the ways of socialism…no matter WHAT happens.
And HIS paycheck is EXEMPT from the cuts!
The dictator got his higher taxes in January now he doesn’t want to cut the non-existing budget. He will have to make one less stop in Las Vegas on the taxpayer’s dime.
Thanks again, Craig–you have a way of bringing the readers to their own “correct” insights and solutions! When is someone gonna stop this runaway train?! (I’ve been asking this question since 2009)…. No matter, it’s a necessary “process” to bring the Americans all to the table to “hear” the discussion and everyone has the opportunity to “choose” to come to OUR senses, poste haste!
THANK YOU CRAIG!
At 5 a.m. this morning I was having this discussion about the whats and wherefores…
I always benefit from reading your insightful and straight forward and humorous blog. This one in particular is extra special to me as the imagery appealed to my humanity – my personhood. Something these lying S.O.B.’s would prefer me or any of the rest of us not to possess. Easier to control a population that has no identity but what is strapped onto them. Trick of that trade that goes BOOM! here today gone in a second thought.
I am a sovereign being. I know the difference between basic rights and wrongs something these soulless wraiths have willingly given up in order to play their part in this evil play for power.
Again thanks, Craig, for telling it like it is – enjoyable without insult to my intelligence.