Well, we’re dun fer after the Obama Zombies stole the election. The next few years are gonna get real tough. Are you prepared for the upcoming Opocalypse?

Rednecks tend to keep prepared for disasters of all kinds – floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, and thievin’ politicians! So this ain’t nuthin new to us – but there are still some good folks out there who can’t see the inevitable: things are goin’ to hell in a handbasket!

For the city-slicker types, I recommend watching some good movies like Zombieland. There are many lessons to be learned on survival.

• Ya need weapons and an arsenal to keep you and yours safe. A few crossbows won’t hurt neither – they is quiet and not easily detected, drawing a little less fuss from yer neighbors.
• Stockpile Twinkies! Now that Hostess is fed up with ObamaCare and unions, they are closing down their bakeries. And let’s face, Twinkies only have a suggested shelf life. Any redneck will tell you that don’t go bad!
• Git into shape! Cardio is the key according to the movie. It don’t hurt none to keep strong for choppin’ wood neither (or anything else that needs choppin’) – or hauling water from the creek – or carrying yer kin outta danger!
• Git you a fishin’ pole and learn how to fish and catch crawdads! You may have to provide yer own food fer a spell, and you best know how cuz you ain’t gonna have time to figger it out if yer hungry for some vittles.
• Grow a garden and learn to preserve food. Wal-Mart might seem like an endless supply of vittles, Mountain Dew, and pork rinds – but once the power goes, it’ll be emptied out in no time!

Now, pay attention here…This next batch o’ stuff’s ‘portant…

Figger out who you can trust – but still don’t tell ’em nuthin about whut you got. Don’t want to tempt ’em to get lazy and figger you and yers will be an easy mark later on down the road. Plus they might not keep their big yaps shut and blab all your secrets…

Good folks to know:

– Moonshiners

– Re-enactors – they know how to do everything our ancestors used to know and lots of  ’em got the tools

– Horse owners (for transportation and carting)

– Beekeepers – gotta keep it sweet!

As for me and Pa (Mountain William, thinks he too good to be a hillbilly), we are gonna get a French press (the French are good for two things: French press and French Fries). If the power goes out, we gotta have our coffee! I know it sounds kinda flat-land tourist stuff – but you only gotta get water hot and pour it in with the grounds, let ‘er soak a bit, press the plunger, and there it is ready fer yer cup!

We’ll try an’ give you more survival tips on a weekly basis.

For MORE Friday fun…Read the FRIDAY FUME!!!