By Craig Andresen 11-4-11

Well, you would think that going through another week of all of this tripe would have me singing the blues…

In your lowest possible voice please…

Nobody knows

The Liberals I’ve Seen,

Nobody Knows My Nausea…

Ah but it is finally Friday – and as we all know, on Friday, I get to let off a good deal of steam. This Friday is no different and you can bet, if liberals are out there…

I’m fuming.

Over at the liberal asylum, perhaps better known as the United Nations, it’s been a banner week. The white coat and blue beret crowd has finally let it slip that the vast majority of their CLIMATE CHANGE or GLOBAL WARMING or STUCK ON STUPID…whatever they’re calling it this week… reports HAVE BEEN WRITTEN BY GRAD STUDENTS!!!

Ummm…These aren’t your high level genius in the making grad students…THESE ARE GARDEN VARIETY GRADUATE STUDENTS WITH LITTLE OR NO EXPERIENCE IN THEIR FIELD OF STUDY!!!

Oh yeah, we’ve all been led to believe that the “CLIMATE BIBLE”…THAT PIECE OF JUNK SCIENCE WHICH IS CALLED “THE PANEL OF CLIMATE CHANGE REPORT”…RESPONSIBLE FOR THE WORLD AGENDA AND TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN WASTED SPENDING…Is not written by some PHD or weather guru of great renown, NOT penned by the greatest mind in global rectal temperature taking…not authored by GOD on stone tablets…

IT’S BEEN WRITTEN BY A BUNCH OF COLLEGE YAHOOS WHOSE GREATEST CLAIM TO FAME IS SURVIVING 3-KEG STANDS IN ONE SATURDAY NIGHT FRAT PARTY AND DISCOVERING THEY CAN STILL FEEL THEIR HAIR GROWING THE FOLLOWING TUESDAY!!!!!

Kinda explains why they altered the name from global warming to climate change, doesn’t it?

“Duuuuude…If the temperature of the world hasn’t changed in the last 11 years…shouldn’t we stop calling it global warming?”

“Like…probably man…Hey…Who made the brownies?”

Fuming.

Well, this is certainly the answer for which the world’s been searching.

In the liberal mind, where tolerance rules the planet, one thing and one thing only can bring tolerance to the intolerant masses in Pakistan or…POK-EE-STON as Obama is so fond of calling it and that one thing is…

Wait for it…

ELMO!!!

Yep friends…OUR GOVERNMENT IS GOING TO SPEND 20 MILLION DOLLARS TO SEND SESAME STREET TO PAKISTAN!!!

Larry Dolan, the former head education officer for the U.S. Agency for International Development in Pakistan stated, “ONE OF THE KEY GOALS OF THE SHOW IN PAKISTAN IS TO INCREASE TOLERANCE TOWARD GROUPS LIKE WOMEN AND ETHNIC MINORITIES.”

According to an AP article… “Perhaps nowhere else are the stakes as high as in Pakistan. The U.S. is worried that growing radicalization could one day destabilize the nuclear-armed country.”

AND WITH THAT, WE SEND THEM ELMO??? ELMO, THE COOKIE MONSTER, BIG BIRD AND OSCAR THE GROUCH ARE GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM ISLAMIC RADICALIZATION AND A DESTABILIZED NUCLEAR ARMED PAKISTAN???

Dear God we’re doomed.

I can see it now…

BERT AND ERNIE TELLING LITTLE PAKISTANI PRAYER RUG RATS IT’S NOT NICE TO BURY WOMEN UP TO THEIR NECKS IN THE DIRT AND THROW ROCKS AT THEM UNTIL THEY’RE DEAD AND “DON’T BLOW ME UP ELMO” SINGING A CUTE LITTLE DITTY ABOUT HOW GENOCIDE IS NOT THE WAY TO WELCOME NEW NEIGHBORS TO YOUR STREET!!!

On the flip side of the coin, I can only guess in the warped world of liberals…

THE ONLY THING THAT IS KEEPING US FROM YELLING “ALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA” AT THE TOP OF OUR LUNGS THEN SHOVING AN UNPINNED GRENADE DOWN OUR PANTS ON A CROWDED BUS IS A BUNCH OF MUPPETS!!!!!

Do yourselves a favor friends…Get one of those Tickle Me Elmo dolls, squeeze it to make it start giggling then real quick, set it face down on a table…

IT’S THE PERFECT ILLUSTRATION OF THIS 20 MILLION DOLLAR PLAN!!!

I’m fuming.

Over on the left side of our nation, in San Fran Freak Show…they have finally introduced a law which they are considering passing, which would BAN NUDE DINING IN PUBLIC RESTAURANTS!!!

Apparently, in the Castro neighborhood…EATING IN A RESTAURANT WEARING NOTHING MORE THAN A LOBSTER BIB IS QUITE THE THING TO DO!!!

The San Fran Freak Show city council now thinks, because of complaints BY THOSE WHO WOULD RATHER NOT SIT ON A CHAIR COVERED IN SKID MARKS…there MAY be a hygiene issue to be dealt with.

Really? They THINK…There might be a hygiene issue?

Personally I think there may be other issues too…LIKE HAVING TO WATCH OLD PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE SHAR PEIS SITTING THERE STARK NAKED WITH THEIR SAN FRANCISCO BAYS IN FULL VIEW WHILE TRYING TO KEEP YOUR LUNCH DOWN!!!

Until this law gets passed, when in the liberal Mecca by the bay…if you decide to go out for dinner…DO NOT ORDER THE SAUSAGE!!!!

Makes ya wonder if this is why they didn’t want cameras at that big Obama San Fran fund raising dinner huh?

The very idea that up until now, not cracking down on butt crack dining has me…

FUMING!

Remember, a short while back when I told you about the pending postal disaster? WELL GLORY BE…DISASTER AVERTED!!!

It seems the answer to mass layoffs and post office closing not to mention the end of Saturday delivery has been FOUND!!!

THE POST OFFICE WILL NOW BEGIN DELIVERY OF BEER AND WINE!!!

Yes…that’s the answer…BEER AND WINE THROUGH THE U.S. MAIL!!!

Private companies like UPS and FED EX have been doing it for YEARS and apparently those who know such things have come to the conclusion that…THERE’S ENOUGH MONEY IN MAILING BEER TO KEEP THE POST OFFICE IN TALL SUDS FOR YEARS TO COME!!!

Boy won’t Cliffy Claven be happy???

Now be warned…YOU as a private citizen sans a special beer or wine distributor distinction WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO SEND A BEER TO YOUR BUDDY IN DRY ROT NEVADA VIA THE U.S. MAIL…it simply won’t be allowed but…

IF YOU’RE TO LAZY OR…YOU DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP YOUR PRIME SPOT ON THE CURB DURING OCCUPY YOUR HAT PROTESTS YOU CAN ORDER A BEER OF THE MONTH CLUB SPECIAL AND UNCLE SAM WILL DELIVER IT TO YOU!!!

You know, if they would have come up with this BRILLIANT idea sooner…WE’D ALL BE LOOPY BY NOW OFF THE JUNK MAIL FROM BOON’S FARM!!!

FUMING!!!

And finally…we have Obama going off about a little something Congress did the other day.

Obama, in a campaign speech…RIPPED republicans in Congress for spending 35 minutes to vote on and reaffirm that “In God We Trust” is our national motto.

Obama said of the 35 minutes it took for Congress to vote on our national motto, “That’s not putting people back to work, I trust in God, but God wants to see us help ourselves by putting people to work.” 

Ummmmm…..

Obama…YOU LIBERAL/SOCIALIST, SNIVELING, GOD CHANNELING, SACK OF FAIRWAY FERTILIZER…HAVE A LOT OF NERVE CHIDING REPUBLICANS FOR SPENDING 35 MINUTES TO REAFFIRM “IN GOD WE TRUST” AS OUR NATIONAL MOTTO WHEN YOU HAVE PLAYED NEARLY 100 ROUNDS OF GOLF TOTALING NEARLY 21 THOUSAND MINUTES!!!

For “In God We Trust’s” sake man…

A YEAR AGO IN INDIA YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT OUR NATIONAL MOTTO WAS!!!

YOU TOLD THOSE PEOPLE IN JAKARTA THAT OUR MOTTO WAS ‘E PLURIBUS UNUM!!!

‘E PLURIBUS UNUM MEANS “OUT OF MANY, ONE” YOU TWIT AND IT IS NOT OUR NATIONAL MOTTO!!!

Why do you think Congress and the republicans held this vote to begin with?

SO WE COULD IMPRESS UPON YOUR PETRIFIED LIBERAL SENSES THAT OUT MOTTO IS…”IN GOD WE TRUST” THAT’S WHY!!!

“In God We Trust” is printed on our money and by the way…It’s OUR money not YOUR money you TAX HAPPY WOMBAT!!!

And just so you know…CONGRESS HAS MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME BETWEEN KILLING OFF PORTIONS OF YOUR LAME STIMULUS TAX HIKING JOBS BILL TO IRRITATE YOU AND A MAJORITY OF LIBERAL/SOCIALISTS BY MAKING SURE THAT “GOD” IS PART OF OUR NATIONAL MOTTO!!!!!

Here’s a little something ELSE for ya to chew on…

It’s “ In GOD We Trust” …not…

IN OBAMA WE TRUST…IN BIG GOVERNMENT WE TRUST, IN SOCIALISM WE TRUST, IN ELMO WE TRUST, IN DINING NAKED WE TRUST, IN GLOBAL CLIMATE WARMING CHANGE GRAD STUDENTS WE TRUST OR IN GETTING A SIX PACK OF SAM ADAMS LAGER SHOVED THROUGH OUR MAIL SLOT WE TRUST…

IT’S “IN GOD WE TRUST” AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT!!!!!

Yes my friends and fellow Patriots…I have now let loose of a week’s worth of liberal achievements.

It is definitely Friday

And…

I’M FUMING!!!!!