Having been bombarded, for more than two years, with countless stories of the hikers held prisoner in Iran, and having had quite 
enough of the political correctness so invasive in our daily lexicon, I have decided that somebody needs to say SOMETHING which is politically DIRECT about this whole situation. So, here we go…An open letter to the “hikers.”
Dear…’Hikers,’
What the hell is wrong with you people? Do you come by your stupidity genetically or is it a byproduct of your ideology?
Perhaps both.
The Iranians said you were spies but that can’t possibly be true…you’re far to brain dead to be spies.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and take a wild shot at it…You’re all liberals aren’t you?
You went HIKING. Hiking is good. Hiking doesn’t leave a carbon footprint regardless of the amount of fossil fuel you burned to GET to your starting point. You shouldn’t be allowed to walk around the block without supervision. You could have gone for a walk in the park, or hiked on a trail in the mountains – but NOOOOOOOOO.
YOU MORONS!! You decided to go hiking along the border between Iran and Iraq. What exactly did you THINK was going to happen?
Did you think you were going to meet a bunch of Iraqi or Iranian hippy freaks and exchange wildflowers and maybe share some weed??
You didn’t go over there for some noble purpose like building a school or to provide medical services or even to help rebuild a road or a bridge. You went ‘hiking’ in a war zone next to a country that hates us.
Seriously…what the hell???
You managed to wander from the Iraqi side of the border over to the Iranian side. What? No map? No GPS? No common sense…what?
Did the Iranians not know the words to Kum ba yah??
You went to Iranian jail didn’t you? All three of you – but one of you got to go home early because of your delicate constitution, didn’t you? Did you enjoy your two years in Iranian jail? Did you??
The Omanis bailed your sorry butts out of stir – but had they asked ME, I would have told them to save their money and let you rot. As far as I’m concerned, the Iranians could have kept you but as it is now…WE’RE stuck with you again and, frankly, it’s a waste of our effort to watch over you numb nuts.
Oh happy, happy joy, joy…you’re on your way home.
When you get here, no doubt you’ll be treated like celebrities and the media will be knocking at your collective doors. I’m sure you’ll either sell your story to People magazine or, maybe first, you’ll grace the pages of Newsweek with a cover stating…’We’re All Iranian Prisoners Now!’ You’ll tell us you were ‘well treated,’ and you’ll thank everybody who arranged for your release.
I wouldn’t be surprised if you thanked Ahmadinejad.
Do you three have ANY idea what REALLY happened? ANY IDEA???
You weren’t ‘arrested’ for being ‘spies’ you were KIDNAPPED for being AMERICANS. You weren’t ‘released’ after a ‘court’ hearing; you were PUT ON DISPLAY and RANSOMED. Now, because of YOU, dictators and other criminals around the world KNOW they can kidnap Americans and get paid to let them go.
YOU slackers have made the world MORE dangerous for Americans. Think about that while you give your interviews and sell your ‘story.’
For future reference, here are some things you need to learn. Don’t lay on railroad track. Bad things will happen if you do. Don’t play in traffic. Bad things will happen if you do. Don’t run with scissors. Bad things will happen if you do. Don’t try to pretend you and grizzly bears are friends. Bad things will happen if you do.
DON’T GO HIKING IN A WAR ZONE NEAR IRANIANS WITH GUNS. BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN IF YOU DO.
One more thing…
Never…I repeat NEVER…seek employment as a hiking guide. Bad things will happen to others if you do.”
They live among us!
Were they just out for a hike, singing kum-by-yah? Maybe we should look at the possibility of them being there to find drugs (opium, heroin and a couple others come to mind). Possibly they were off following the footsteps of Obama? Their anointed one. He traveled to countries that Americans were not allowed to enter as tourists. (Ofcourse you could do that if you were a citizen of Indonesia).
These three hikers are absolute Morons (Berkley! My kids will NEVER be allowed to attend a university [that’s right I did not capitalize University] that would have these three signed-up as students). Please hikers… don’t have any ofspring.
Book-smart does not imply actual intelligence, or common sense.
That was my thinking also, and just what the hell were they doing there in the first place?
THREE ABSOLUTE SCREWBALL DUMBASSES……AND, RICK YOU ARE CORRECT STUPID CANNOT BE FIXED!!
You can’t fix stupid
I could not agree more. These people have zero justification for their ‘reasons’ to be where they were when this whole nonsense started. I wouldn’t trust the THREE of them together to find the nearest doughnut shop. Any misery they ‘endured’ is purely due to their collective stupidity. Oh sure, let’s go hiking along a war zone border and enjoy the great outdoors. WHAT? Nobody appreciates our simplistic rationale? No, darlings. You are stupid. That’s where it starts and that is the most eloquent comment on where it ended. To treat you as ‘celebrities’ mocks the entire concept of what constitutes ‘news.’ You should have been so embarassed that you’d snuck back into the country and returned to ‘dumb land’ unnoticed. The media is as dumbly motivated as possibly you were; clueless, bumbling along with some juvenile notion that the world is a pleasant playground. Maybe you’ll grow up to do something useful, like counting sidewalk cracks in your home town or correcting spelling on street signs.
These kind of “STUPID PEOPLE” are the kind that voted for OBAMA!
Dumbest thing ever to go to a country that hates your guts………….wants to kill us, and go hiking…………dumb a ss
Screw the hikers, I want a piece of JWW’s a$$
Who is the moron that gave these morons a passport\visa to go hiking in a WAR
Zone??
They got off way too easy. They’re alive.
You’all would call me a liberal, but I think I am just progressive.
However, I agree with this article.
I am not sure, however, that it being so vindictive and personal is a good idea.
Craig,
as I see it you missed one key point. WHAT WERE THERY DOING IN HIKING IRAQ. Do they remember Shosei Koda (2004) – Japanese citizen beheaded by Islamic terrorists, Kim Sun-il (2004) – South Korean citizen beheaded by Islamic terrorists, Kenneth Bigley (2004) – UK citizen beheaded by Islamic terrorists, Nick Berg (2004) – US citizen beheaded by Islamic terrorists, Eugene Armstrong (2004) – US citizen beheaded by Islamic terrorists, Jack Hensley (2004) – US citizen beheaded by Islamic terrorists, Paul Marshall Johnson, Jr. (2004) – US citizen beheaded by Islamic terrorists. DONT GO HIKING IN IRAQ, you may get separated from body parts literally.
I agree with every word that Craigwrote. They should have left them there to rot in jail for a few more years.
I tend to agree with every single word Craig wrote. To the few of you who do not agree, that’s your right, but don’t expect to change the minds of the ones of us who DO agree with Craig. There is a reason most of us agree with Craig. Think about it.
While I agree 100% with the gist of what you are trying to say in your “letter”, your liberal reference just undid every single thing you accomplished with this letter.
This is not about right or left, liberal or conservative. Get off your high horse, attempting to hijack this incident to push your anti-liberal agenda. I am not a liberal myself, but this was nothing more than flagrant bashing when it should have been simply about some stupid americans who need to get a clue.
Just to be clear, I am a Gulf war veteran left leaning Liberal. I can say from personal experience there is nothing interesting to see in that backward garbage dump over there. If these knuckleheads want to go “hiking” in the worlds shit holes, they should join the Army and at least get paid to do it. There is not a left or right, Liberal or Conservative side to take here. These three are just plain fools! Please return to sender and ask for a refund.
What I want to know is HOW did they get there in the first place? Where did they fly to, Kuwait? How did they get the required Visa(s)? They worte down “Going hiking along the border between Iraq and Iran.” to answer the question: “What is the purpose of your trip?” Somehting smells to me. When they arrived at from wherever they emparked on their hike with their hiking gear, what did they tell the customs inspector when asked why they had the huge back packs common to American and European tourists in their 20s? Were they camping along the way? Were they stopping in small villages and staying at the local hostel or B&B (doubtful)? Something is not right with this story that starts with the “whys and hows” of them getting there in the first place.
I say let them go feed a lion. And a bear if they like. Just don’t give them any food.
I also believe these were idots. But do not blame the “left” for their stupidity. I am a Liberal and would never do such a stupid thing. Some people are just to stupid to protect from their own mistakes.
Nice article. But do not worry…It will happen again for the mothers of the morons are ALWAYS pregnant!! All nations have these kind of idiots, we (in Italy) have so many with the difference that our stupid people,that do that,do not become rich being interviewed by the media (as Amanda Knox-INNOCENT-)…Few months ago a stupid italian woman(50 years old) decided to go ALONE through the Sahara desert (one of the nest of al queida) guided by 2 locals… Guess as it ended??? She has not being rescued yet…But MOST LIKELY she is having the good time that at 50 she could hardly find in Italy…
Elaine C. expresses my belief in regards to a staged, money making scheme on the part of the three hikers….no-one can be so void of common sense, or can they.
As for Mr. Hoppe’s comment, I’m one of many nuts he criticizes in regards to 9/11. If you follow the trail, starting in Italy two years before, and use your thinking cap and reasoning power, you may realize the attack was allowed to happen with the help of one of our “allies”. The 9/11 Commission’s report is bogus as the Warren Commission report on the assassination of JFK. Patriotism is not blindly believing all the government and media tell you. Asking, challenging, thinking and reasoning are powerful tools in getting to the truth; however, it has been said that many citizens of this country don’t want the truth – or can’t handle it.
JWW I too am glad that these silly’s have returned to the U.S. What you call hate appears more akin to the anger of a loving friend at the safe return of a foolish and beloved friend. You unfortunately seem to be seeking ANYTHING to use to attack this great country through these loving friends. Your attitude is most clear when you choose the hateful expression “they are borderline treasonous.” I am sure that you have experience as a traitor.
I’m so glad Sarah, Shane and Josh are back so we can finally quit hearing the hate directed at them. The political bigotry in the comments on this thread is truly a representation of the WORST America has to offer. You call these three people stupid yet I’d venture all of them have more education and intelligence than the lot of you. Your paranoia, fear, and self-righteous attitudes are not patriotic, they are borderline treasonous. You all pretend to be patriots yet you disgrace the ideals of the nation you claim to love.
THEY ACTUALLY LOOK STUPID NO SENSE AT ALL…..OR MAY BE RETARDED TOO….AMERICA SHOULD NOT LOOK AFTER THEM OR AFTER ANY STUPID IDIOTS THEY DO THINK WITHOUT BRAIN….WE HAVE LOT OF SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH OUR ECONOMY AND WITH OUR UNEMPLOYMENT TO TAKE CARE OF IT AND SOLVE ….
Seeing those 3 and hearing of their “adventure”, I really wonder if the whole thing could have been carefully staged. I try not to be a conspiracy theory person but these days it’s difficult. I agree they should pay back the ransom from their book and movie deals.
Totally agree! At their press conference they inferred that America was to blame for their incarceration because of the way we treat prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. I personally don’t get the connection, but I do know that Gitmo prisoners are treated better than many Americans can afford to live. The “hikers” should have to pay back the million? dollar ransom it cost to get them back.
Great. Send it to Newsweek, CNN, etc.
I loved what you had to say. So many of us are thinking the same thing and you were brave and smart enough to put it in writing. God Bless You.
Can you get it in Newsweek?
What the hell were they thinking?
There are approximately 1,000 absolutely beautiful hiking sites in this wonderful country of ours. And, most people you meet are friendly and courteous, and have no wish or intention of cutting your silly heads off. Read, watch and learn about what is going on in our world. I’m glad for your safety, but pity your stupidity.
OUTSTANDING! Couldn’t have said it better myself! All this time I’ve been wondering what n hell is so attractive about hiking n no-man’s land, unless u have a serious death wish! knuckleheads!
Great Story Craig, lets see how long it takes them to try another stupid stunt like trying to get a picture with them trying to feed a lion or something.
You are right about these kind of American’s are hazardous to other American’s.
After they complete their “Thank You Iran” tour, make them pay back the ransom.
Where was that photo taken? Why is she dressed as a Muslim? Did they convert before they were released? (Remember that was one of the things the Fox reporter said he’d been required to do before he was released…. Aug 28, 2006 – 14, Olaf Wiig and Steve Centanni were released Sunday, after nearly … The freeing of Centanni, a correspondent, and Wiig, a cameraman, ends the … “We were forced to convert to Islam at gunpoint,”
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,210645,00.html
Marlyn, That photo was taken in Iran after they were arrested for stupidity and before she was released…probably a year ago.
Took the words right out of my mouth!
I couldn’t agree more.. I would not be at all surprised if they actually “blame the U.S.” as a complicit part of the Iranian action to incarcerate them. Just like the nuts who claim the U.S. deserved, or caused, the 9-11 attacks.
Hi Craig,
I love the way your words echo what my mind is thinking. All the time these “kids” were front and center in the public eye (and gathering the sympathy of some), I kept wondering, “What the heck are they doing between Iraq and Iran in the first place?” Hiking just doesn’t get it. Guess they will have to stick with the “stupidity” defense.
Craig — as always, I enjoy your posts. Today, I loved… no, I *LOVED* this one! I couldn’t agree more, nor could I have said it better. I was watching these pukes on the morning news this morning and I was thinking the same thing. You took the words out of my mouth, and the thoughts away from my mind! Kudos!
Yep, pretty much nails it!