It’s never a matter of what to write for the Fume…quite the opposite in fact.

The HARD part is narrowing it DOWN but if we can’t find a way to laugh at liberal insanity…we’ll all go screaming into the night.

It’s been a rough week folks so, let’s dive right in…

It’s FRIDAY and…

I’m fuming.

So, this is interesting…and telling.

Members of our military are reporting that they were told not to eat or drink…in front of Muslims…during the month of Ramadan.

SERIOUSLY???

Apparently, Ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong is the month of FASTING for TERRORIST BARBARIANS and according to Bridge Commander Col. Kevin Glasz, while THEY observe fasting…WE must observe…POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!!!

According to an email from Glasz to the troops…“This is a period of great personal restraint and commitment in addition to renewed focus on worship. I’d like to encourage you to learn just a little more about this religion, but more importantly, I’m asking you to be considerate and do not consume food or drink in front of our Muslim colleagues; it is a simple, yet respectful action.”

Let me try to put this in terms this BRASS ASS might understand…

WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION GLASZ???

MAYBE YOU ARE NOT AWARE THAT MANY OF OUR…”COLLEAGUES” HAVE BEEN…BLOWING OUR HEADS OFF…YOU WANT TO GET YOUR HEAD BLOWN OFF GLASZ???

DO YOU THINK…FOR ONE MINUTE…THAT THOSE TERRORISTS ARE GONNA SHOW SOME…”RESTRAINT”…AND NOT SELF-DETONATE…DURING YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER???

WELL NUMB NUTS??? I’M WAITING???

DROP AND GIVE ME 20!!!!!

This turd with a bird on his shoulder is actually asking that the men and women under his command…not eat or drink…IN FRONT OF MUSLIMS…so as to be RESPECTFUL???

Given all the RESPECT the garden variety ISLAMO-TERRORIST CAMEL HUMPERS have been showing to US…I’D TURN THE MESS HALL INTO A …DINNER THEATER…ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET AND SHOW “THE 10 COMMANDMENTS,” “THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD,” “BEN HUR” and THE HISTORY CHANNEL’S…”THE BIBLE” DURING BREAKFAST, BRUNCH, THE MID AFTERNOON SNACK, DINNER AND THE MIDNIGHT MUNCHIES!!!!!

Fuming.

Here’s one for the “GO FIGURE” file…

You remember everybody’s favorite 30 some odd year old college SLUT…Sandra Fluke???

Yeah…the one who just HAD to have EVERYBODY else choke up $3000 bucks a year TO PAY FOR her BIRTH CONTROL?

Well…Now we find out that her BIGGEST donor to HER FAILED CAMPAIGN for the California senate was none other than…

SANDRA FLUKE HER OWN SELF!!!

That’s right…little miss “I CAN’T AFFORD $9 DOLLARS A MONTH FOR BIRTH CONTROL SO THE GOVERNMENT NEEDS TO GIVE ME $3000 DOLLARS EVERY YEAR…LOANED her OWN campaign…ONE FREAKIN’ HUNDRED…THOUSAND…DOLLARS!!!

Setting common core math aside…THAT’S ENOUGH MONEY TO HAVE PAID FOR HER BIRTH CONTROL  PILLS UNTIL SHE HITS THE RIPE OLD AGE OF…958 YEARS OLD and for what?

It’s kinda like buying a lifetime subscription to MONOGAMOUS MONTHLY for BILL CLINTON…AND AS FAR AS WE KNOW…EVEN THAT OL’ HORNY BASTARD DIDN’T HIT ON HER DURING THE CONVENTION A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO!!!

The California Campaign Finance Reports shows that Fluke has contributed $12,000 to her own California senate campaign and $4,826.27 in non-monetary donations in addition to the $100,000 loan not to mention that her in-laws have contributed more than $20,000 to her campaign, and her own family has donated $9,600.

SHE’S MARRIED??? HOLY CRAP!!!!

Well, I once bought an old, used, beater of a car with a stripped out gearbox and a bone dry oil pan…same difference I suppose.

Anyway…

With THAT kind of money…what on EARTH was she doing…begging congress to pay for HER BIRTH CONTROL while the REST of us were getting…SCREWED???

I’m fuming.

And from the “What Would You EXPECT?” file…

Navi Pillay, SHE of the United Nations of Thugs, Thieves and Depots…”HUMAN SHIELD RIGHTS Council” had THIS to say about Israel…”The government of Israel has defied international law in Gaza by attacking civilian areas with schools, hospitals, homes and U.N. facilities.”

Ummmm…excuse ME you old pile of camel dung but…aren’t those the exact SAME…U.N. schools, hospitals homes and UN FACILITIES that the TERRORISTS…HAMAS…ARE USING TO HIDE THEIR ROCKETS AND ROCKET LAUNCHERS IN???

Are there any INTERNATIONAL LAWS being violated by USING HUMAN SHIELDS IN A WAR ZONE???

What’s got the U.N.’s little power blue panties all bunched up is that Hamas is getting their HAM-ASS handed to them by Israel and they just don’t LIKE it when the TERRORISTS THEY SPONSOR are getting KILLED!!!

HERE’S a little BREAKING news for you Pillay…The MAIN COMMAND AND CONTROL BUNKER is located in the BASEMENT of…THE SHIFA HOSPITAL IN GAZA CITY but that’s not really BREAKING NEWS to YOU over there at the UN…IS IT???

THAT HAM-ASS COMMAND AND CONTROL CENTER HAS BEEN RIGHT THERE SINCE AT LEAST 2006 WHEN…PBS…AIRED A REPORT ON IT SHOWING TERRORISTS ROAMING THE HALLS!!!

But that wasn’t all Pillay had to squawk about…SHE’S PISSED that Israel has an Iron Dome missile defense system and HAMAS DOESN’T!!!

“No such protection has been provided to Gazans against the shelling.”

When the U.N. is finished KISSING MY ASS…THEY CAN GO KISS ISRAEL’S!!!!!

I’m FUMING!!

And finally…

Not ALL of Lois Lerner’s emails have been lost.

Just a couple of days ago…one surfaced thanks to the House Ways and Means Committee and in it…we see the inner workings of Lerner’s inner thoughts.

“So we don’t need to worry about alien teRrorists. (sic) It’s our own crazies that will take us down.”

“Well, you should hear the whacko wing of the GOP. The US is through; too many foreigners sucking the teat; time to hunker down, buy ammo and food, and prepare for the end. The right wing radio shows are scary to listen to.”

Her unnamed colleague shot back…“And I’m talking about the hosts of the shows. The callers are rabid.”

And then Lois fired off…“Great. Maybe we are through if there are that many assholes.”

Well, well…SPEAKING as a CONSERVATIVE TALK RADIO HOST and a CONSERVATIVE who has a damn good MANY friends who LISTEN to CONSERVATIVE TALK RADIO…

Allow me…

We KNOW YOUR ILK ARE LISTENING to our shows and READING THIS ARTICLE soooo….

ASSHOLES huh? WE’RE the assholes huh? Well, let me tell YOU something Lerner…YOU TWO-BIT, CROTCH-CRICKET INFESTED, SOUR OLD PLEADING THE 5^TH  SACK OF ROTTING CRAP BITCH…If WE’RE the ASSHOLES…THEN SO WERE THE FOUNDERS AND FRAMERS because…WE STAND FOR WHAT THEY ENTRUSTED TO US…A NATION WHERE THE GOVERNMENT DOES NOT RULE THE PEOPLE…RATHER…A NATION WHERE THE PEOPLE RULE OVER THE GOVERNMENT and I’ll let you in on another little secret…

IF THE FOUNDERS AND FRAMERS WERE HERE TODAY…AT LEAST ONE OF THEM WOULD SHOVE A RUSTY MUSKET UP YOUR DUSTY ASS AND FIRE WHEN HE SAW THE WHITES OF YOUR SOCIALIST EYES!!!!!

WE’RE just trying to get to the TRUTH and RUN ALL OF YOU REGRESSIVE, PROGRESSIVES OUT OF OFFICE!!!

And as for US…the CONSERVATIVES being the TERRORISTS in your crap-encrusted brain…

I sure as hell wish we were because…

THEN EVERY TEA PARTY CHAPTER IN THIS COUNTRY WOULD BE ON THE RECEIVING END OF $47 MILLION DOLLARS THIS WEEK ALONE…A BOATLOAD OF WEAPONS…WE’D BE BACKED BY THE DAMN UNITED NATIONS AND THAT STEAMING PILE OF MUSLIM PIG POOP YOU USED TO WORK FOR WOULD VACATE THE DAMN THRONE AND LET US TAKE OVER THE COUNTRY!!!

He’s done as much for others…Libya, Egypt, Iraq…

Then…We would PACK UP YOUR ASS…HARRY REID’S ASS…PELOSI’S ASS…HOLDER’S ASS…OBAMA’S ASS AND MOOOOOOOOOCHELLE’S ASS (if we can commandeer a BARGE)…AND SHIP YOU ALL OVER TO IRAQ WITH A BARREL OF MARSHMALLOWS…A CRATE OF GRAHAM CRACKERS AND A CONTAINER OF HERSHEY BARS SO YOU CAN MAKE SMORES AND SING KUMBA- FREAKIN’-YA WITH THE PEOPLE YOU SEEM TO THINK ARE THE SANE ONES…UNTIL YOUR HEADS FALL OFF!!!!!

My friends and fellow Patriot ASSHOLES…

Today IS Friday and…

I AM FUMING!!!!!