Someone needs to tell it like it is…may as well be me.

Yesterday, after spending the last five days being repeatedly slapped in the face with a wet Supreme Court of the United States fish, the Dictator stepped up to a Rose Garden microphone with GRUMPY the ASS CLOWN, Joe Biden, standing behind him in the lamest attempt I’ve even seen at adding some absurd sense of gravitas to his wilting poll numbers.

“If house Republicans are really concerned about me, taking too many executive actions…pass a bill.”

That’s what the occupier of our oval office said yesterday regarding immigration reform. That is exactly what he said.

Now, let’s look to that statement without the ass hat filter and using our double top secret liberal ideology decoder ring, we can discern the real meaning of his words.

“If house Republicans are really concerned about me, taking too many executive actions…just let me have my way…officially…by passing amnesty and allowing my party to register as many illegal aliens as is humanly possible.”

Oh, he tried to spin his pleading and whining as some sort of humanitarian effort and something which would solve every problem we, as a borderless nation face…amnesty would solve unemployment…cut the national debt and I THOUGHT I heard something between the blah, blah, blah and the yada, yada, yada about how allowing our country to be overrun by law breaking pillagers would cure athletes foot too but in reality, it was little more than a pity party.

What little more it was had to do with his taking more executive actions.

Where’s that particular wet fish again…the one the SCOTUS whacked him with a few days ago? Apparently, somebody needs to take another swing and this time, with meaningful intentions.

Apparently, Boehner’s pending lawsuit holds all the impact of a trout.

The real question here is…

In what universe do these liberal panty wads LIVE?

Obama’s skunk in a rose garden speech came on the heels of Nancy Pelosi’s perpendicular-to-any-resemblance-of- common-sense universe spewing over the weekend on the topic of illegal alien occupation of our no longer sovereign nation.

First of all…”…If you believe as WE do, that every child has a…SPARK OF DIVINITY ABOUT THEM???”

The old bat must have a weasel in her pants because judging by the Sandra Fluke slut-wing of the liberal/socialist party…THIRD TRIMESTER ABORTIONS are the CURE for…DIVINITY in children.

In the SECOND place…opportunity Gracie?

Having tens of thousands of ILLEGAL ALIEN ANKLE BITERS roaming about unfettered by parents to soak up American taxpayer welfare like a bunch of little SPONGE BOB ILLEGAL PANTS while WE pay for everything from their education to their INCARCERATION is an…OPPORTUNITY?????

Much in the same way, I suppose, as having it rain ANVILS FROM THE SKY would be an OPPORTUNITY to enjoy the GREAT OUTDOORS through the HOLES in your ROOF!!!

SEIZE the opportunity people…SEIZE the opportunity to flood our nation with more soon to be registered democrats who will suck the system dry…SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITY…you know…sort of like Noah seized the opportunity to go boating.

Here’s just how insipid our Dictator is.

He stood there like a turd in the Rose Garden yesterday and simpered that a NEW law that would not only allow those who have already broken our laws to STAY and bleed this country dry from within but…at the same time…encourage MORE illegal aliens and their…I mean OUR future dependent children to continue to pour over our borders because…THAT will fix the problem.

Meanwhile…those dirty Republican obstructionists that won’t let the cry baby have his way seem to think that we have laws on the books RIGHT NOW that, were they applied, would keep the leeches on the OTHER side of the border and DEPORT those who, like the Dictator himself, HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RESPECT FOR OUR LAWS OR OUR CONSTITUTION as if THAT just might fix the problem.

Seriously…

Obama actually wants us to believe that passing ‘comprehensive immigration reform,’ amnesty for those who have misplaced their decoder rings, will lead to better border security.

Silly me…I thought beefing up BORDER PATROLS, ramping up deportations and CLOSING THE DAMN BORDER DOWN would lead to better border security.

Here’s an idea that could be used to test both possibilities.

Let’s use Detroit as our test subject because, it’s a monument to liberalism so there shouldn’t be any sand box sobbing that the deck was stacked…and, for the next full year, throw open every jail cell in the Motor City metro area while the guards are kept busy changing the diapers of welfare babies up and down 8 Mile. Instead of arresting those who break the law there for the next year, just let them run amok and invite all their criminal friends to JOIN them in Detroit as they all dream of whatever it is that ‘dreamers’ dream of.

At the end of the testing calendar year…if Detroit’s economy has improved, if their unemployment level has dropped, if their chasm of debt has narrowed, if their businesses are doing better, and if all their water has been turned back on, paid in full and toilets across Motown are flushing with reckless abandon, I will PERSONALLY…KISS OBAMA’S NARROW ASS AT HIGH NOON ON LIVE TELEVISION AND…FOLLOW THAT UP BY GIVING MOOOOOOCHELLE A SPONGE BATH WHILE I KEEP MY EYES OPEN!!!!!

If, however…on the other hand…at the end of the calendar year in question, Detroit…as an American city can’t be discerned from the third world cesspool it is today or by some far-flung chance that it deteriorates further into the bowels of hell’s outhouse than it is today…

OBAMA…HOLDER…BIDEN…PELOSI, that walking concussed shrew in a double-wide pant suit  AND THAT MILK-TOAST WASTE OF A SEAR SUCKER SUIT…HARRY REID WILL HAVE TO SURRENDER THEMSELVES TO LAW ENFORCEMENT AND FACE CHARGES OF HIGH CRIMES, MISDEMEANORS AND TREASON!!!

But there was the ‘Why is Everybody’s Always Pickin’ on Me’ Dictator, blathering about how public opinion, “the majority of Americans” are on HIS side.

Oh really…

Has he SEEN his poll numbers lately?

60 percent of Americans think he’s doing a LOUSY job which means…13 percent OF HIS OWN VOTER BASE would rather be selling CHICAGO CUTLERY door to door in TIKRIT than back him up right now but when it comes to the Republicans in congress saying “no way ‘hose A’” to letting more undocumented democrat voters through the door, Obama (‘Hose A’ for those keeping track) says, “America cannot wait forever for them to act,” and that he will use his pen to, “fix as much of our immigration system as I can, on my own, without Congress.” 

Listen, you camel’s ass loving lump of Allah praising pig squirt…

You’ve “FIXED” the economy to the point that our first quarter 2014 GDP was NEGATIVE 2.9 percent. You’ve “FIXED” our unemployment to the point that there are more people who have FROPPED OUT of the workforce at any time since the Great Depression. You “FIXED” our energy issues by KILLING the coal industry, throwing away BILLIONS of dollars on green energy companies that keep going bankrupt.

You “FIXED” our problems with Mexican drug cartels by giving them weapons. You “FIXED” our healthcare system by MANDATING a SOCIALIST system that has jacked up everybody’s premiums, deductibles and prescription costs while putting all our lives in the hands of a 15 member panel of unelected BUREAUCRATS but…you STILL haven’t “FIXED” that damn website attached to it.

You REALLY ‘fixed things in Egypt didn’t you? You really FIXED” things with North Korea huh? You “fixed things right up with RUSSIA when you sent Hillary over there with a ‘reset’ button didn’t ya? You “FIXED everything in Iraq…in Syria and you certainly “FIXED” any issues Israel has with those so-called ‘Palestinians’ yes?

And BOY oh BOY you sure did “FIX” things in Libya…hell…you “FIXED” our people in Benghazi to DEATH!!!

What the hell thought, right? I mean…you’ve “FIXED” our VETS to death too.

How’s the IRS doing? You got THAT all “FIXED” up yet?

And when it comes to our border…You have most CLEARLY “fixed” THAT issue.

The gates are wide open…your engraved invitations to the communist party hop have been sent out to every future illegal alien from the Rio Grande to Columbia, you’ve got our border patrol powdering every 3 year old hiney from Honduras, ICE is all tied up dispersing desperados from Raleigh to Rancho Cucamongo…We’ve got KIDS pouring over the border faster than that tsunami poured over Japan a few years ago along with hundreds of thousands of illegal alien ADULTS from WHO KNOWS WHERE flooding our nation and they’re ALL looking for TAXPAYER handouts like food, clothes, HOUSING…WELFARE…a free education until they can get IN STATE TUITION and…DHS IS NOW ASKING AMERICANS TO DONATE UNDERWEAR…FROM SIZE MEDIUM TO 6XL the latter of which one can ONLY assume will be used as ILLEGAL ALIEN  HAMMOCKS at our MILITARY bases where YOU are housing them until YOU can use MILLIONS more of our taxpayer dollars to BUY THEM ATTORNEYS to DEFEND them AGAINST deportation!!!!

How about you do us all a favor already and QUIT FIXING THINGS!!!

Would SOMEBODY please potty train the Dictator…he’s crapping all over the Constitution again.